I had one of those mornings, you know a ‘mummy’ morning. The one’s where ‘mum guilt’ really comes into its own! Despite knowing better, despite telling myself that I didn’t need to feel bad, there are just moments where common sense flies out the window and you feel like the worst mummy ever!
Now clearly I know ‘logically’ I am very far from being the worst mummy ever, in fact I know I am a good mum, but when your newly seven year old is crying when you take him to school against his will you feel like you are failing as a ‘good mum’.
This morning he insisted that he was too tired to go to school, and you know what he is tired, we all are. My kids went back to school on Monday after 2 weeks off and to make matters worse for some reason, (totally illogical if you ask me), ‘they’ decide that they should time the return from school holidays with the daylight savings change. Meaning that we feel like we are getting up an hour earlier! Why can’t they do it at the start of the holidays, or even the middle????? So yes he is tired, the girls are tired and I am tired too. I wish we could all sleep in, or have the day off, but in ‘real life’ we don’t just say hey I am tired so I’m not going to go anywhere. And although my 7 year old thinks he can I had to tell him he can’t, and let’s just say he was not happy with my response!
I tried reasoning with him, explaining that I understand his feelings. I tried to tell him that tomorrow is the weekend and he can sleep in then. I tried to explain that even if he wasn’t going to school he would still have to get up because I still have to get his sisters to school and he can not stay home alone! I tried explaining that other people are counting on us, but in his world the whole world should revolve around him I guess? I mean can you really argue logic with a seven year old who is over tired??????
So I dropped him off, because although it made me feel like a ‘bad mummy’, I know deep down that dropping him off is what a ‘good mummy’ should do. If I kept him home every time he was tired then he would be home a lot! And he would soon learn that if he cries or gets frustrated that mummy gives in, and then I am opening him up to thinking that this strategy will work on others and the fact is it won’t! Don’t get me wrong I am not against giving kids a day off if they are overly exhausted, and of course I don’t send them to school if they are sick, but this morning was more about just wanting to get his way, and he is a smart kid who will take advantage of me if I let him. So yes I dropped him off and he was crying, I drove away struggling to not cry myself. I told myself there was no point beating myself up and I took a lot of deep breaths, and then had coffee with a few mum friends who assured me I was doing OK, and I was not being a bad mum.
I know I am a good mum, but still there are times as a mum where we feel like we are falling short, and that is OK. My son still thinks I am the best mummy in the world and that I am worthy of being loved to the moon and back. He is amazing, but he is 7 and he will test me because that is what kids do, it is how they learn about the world around them. I am so blessed to have him, and have actually had some lovely days this week getting to visit his classroom and seeing how happy he is at school. Today we just had a rough morning, for him it is already long forgotten, so why should I hang onto feeling bad? I won’t.
here are some pics from my time with him in class
I actually came across a Vlog I filmed a few weeks back and yet hadn’t published, I watched it and found the day I had filmed it I had actually had another tricky morning, but with the girls. It’s life, we have tricky moments, but as long as we remember to focus on the good stuff, and find a reason to smile, we will be OK! I have attached it if you won’t to watch.
Thanks for joining me, love Mac xx
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16 comments
Yep, that’s a tough morning. We’ve all been there at some point or another. It’s not always easy to do the right thing (sometimes it’s not even clear what the right this is!). But you do have the right attitude and that’s half the battle.
oh thank you, it is so hard to know what is the ‘right’ way
Aw hun, it’s so hard when you have to drop them off when they are upset. Lep used to do this all the time for play school and it used to break my heart, he was always fine 2 minutes after I left though! You are a fab mummy, when kids are involved there are always going to be bad days but like you said we can’t dwell on them and instead should focus on the good!xx #anythinggoes
To our amazing daughter Kylie I was watching your vlog last night and,it really made me think about life,and all the choices we make and how they shape the decisions and the paths we lead.I know I have made mistakes that I would never have made,if I could have had someone to talk to me,and help me understand that life and love are such priceless gifts that we share with the ones we love.. I often think about when I was growing up would have loved to give mum such a big hug,but I never felt like I could,I was too scared if I had have reached out I wonder how she would have reacted, would she have taken me in her arms and held me or would she have pushed me away. Growing up in a large family and not really knowing if you were loved or not has left a big gap in my life. Watching you talk about the struggles you have overcome in your life, you have inspired me with your positive way of looking at what we have and who we have in our lives. I know you have overcome some huge hurdles, I am so blessed to have two beautiful daughters who are such amazing loving people, and two sons who I love so much. Also eight gorgeous grandchildren who are the love of my life. A wonderful husband who I adore. All of you are always there for me and I love you all. Kylie keep doing what you do best being the most amazing and incredible person you are Love Mum
Thank you so much Mum, I know you are often way too hard on yourself, but you have come such a long way and I see you growing more and more in confidence lately and it is an inspiration. Love you loads xoxo
Oh no, it’s awful when you see them cry isn’t it? As mums we just want to take away the pain, always. My mam used to say to me that she was being cruel to be kind, and it’s soooo true. Of course I didn’t understand that at the time, but I have a feeling it’ll be one of the expressions I’ll be using with my own two munchkins throughout the years. My 2 year old goes to nursery once a week and, up until recently, she cried inconsolably every time I dropped her off. But I know it’s what’s best for her, because when I pick her up at the end of each day, she has the biggest (albeit knackered!) smile on her face. She’s literally beaming with pride at the achievements she’s made. And she always comes home with new expressions that always crack me up. Tomorrow is another day, as they say, and I’m sure your son forgave you for being so ‘cruel’. One day he’ll know you were being kind. xx
oh thank you, yes it is so hard trying to do the right thing, and looking at the long term outcome rather than the short term. We had a lovely weekend together and thankfully he went off happy this morning to school, no tears just waves and smiles. Your daughter sounds adorable!
Oh yes, that’s horrible. I’ve been there and you are absolutely right at the end when you say he’s forgotten about it already and so you must and will move on too. It’s probably one of many incidents to come like this. We are constantly being tested as parents, aren’t we? Sometimes it just feels like one struggle after another and you just want to scream: no more! I’ve used up all my reserves right now! Keep going – you sound as if you are doing an amazing job. Alison x #AnythingGoes
I had a whole summer of bad mornings when my three year old didn’t want to go to nursery school because it was all so different than the norma school term. I felt like a dreadful Mum as he begged me not to take him. It’s rubbish. But he’s okay now. These things come to pass it’s just really rubbish while it’s happening. #anythinggoes
You doing ok:) We are the best Mummies for our babies. I hope you will setting up everything
#AnythingGoes
We have all been there. We just do the best we can with the information we have. #AnythingGoes
This morning we actually had our first hassle free morning since my eldest started school. Every morning she is tired, every morning she says she doesn’t want to go, she keeps saying she is ill. I can’t let her stay home because it will be opening the door to it happening again and again. I’ve told her she has to go in and school will send her home if she isn’t well enough. I haven’t had the call yet.
#SundayBest
Aww huni that’s so tough. I remember so we’ll being that age and wanting to be at home watching movies on the sofa even if I wasn’t ill! Sounds like you are a wonderful mummy and even if it’s against our instincts, you’ve done the right thing by listening first but taking him to school. Hope tomorrow is easier for you 🙂 xxx #anythinggoes
The mummy guilt is terrible, but we all know that this is really the right thing to do. Thanks for linking up to #AnythingGoes
Janet
That does sound like a rough morning, I’m one of those pushover mums who is always so tempted to take the easy way out and give in when my son is crying about not wanting to go to nursery but I know it’s not the right thing to do. You’re a great mum and its so obvious how much you love your children 🙂 Thanks for joining us at #SundayBest, hope to see you again tomorrow!
It’s so hard when they get upset about things. Little N has struggled to settle at nursery and it has broken my heart to force him to stay, but when I collect him he has always had a good day so I know I have then done the right thing. It just doesn’t feeling it at the time. Thanks for linking up to #SundayBest x
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