Why is it so hard to stop?

What is it that tells us that we have to do everything, be everywhere? Why do we feel like it is so hard to just stop? To say “I can’t do it today”?

There are days that I am exhausted, not so much physically, but mentally. Yet I will still push myself to say ‘yes‘ to every opportunity I am given. Why is that? I am just determined to burn myself out? Of course not, the truth is I just find it hard to say the word “NO“!

Why is it so hard to say no? Really, I am asking you, I mean it is just a small word, yet sometimes I feel terrified to use it. So what am I afraid of? And I know I am not alone. We live in a world where as women we are told we can have it all. Finally after all the work, really hard bloody work of the women before us, women like us now have so many opportunities. We are not sink bound any more, we are than just the baby making machines who cook and clean and greet our man with his pipe and slippers at the door.

But maybe that’s part of the problem, maybe we feel so indebted to these women who fought so hard for us, that we feel guilty if we don’t make the most of all these privileged opportunities?

We are so lucky that we can have careers, a family, girls nights, travel opportunities, life is full of wonderful choices, yes we are super lucky.

Now don’t get me wrong, I feel so blessed that I live in this era, and that my daughters will grow up with freedom and choices. It’s just sometimes I feel so guilty for taking a day to myself. And if I do take a day to myself I feel like I have to work twice as hard before and after that day off that I wonder if it is even worth it.

It’s not just work commitments, it’s family, friends, and social media. For any one out there whose work depends on social media, you will know what I mean, it can be a full-time job in itself. The thing is though, maybe we, (or me at least) are over worrying and over thinking the ‘little things‘? Is it really so bad to not check our emails for one day? Some of you will say ‘no‘, of course it’s not. But I know many of you will think ‘yes‘ it is terrifying. What if you go offline all weekend, no Facebook, no email, twitter, instagram, nothing? Could you do it? Can you stop?

For many, including myself, it raises the stress levels immediately. As a blogger, a huge part of my networking is via social media. For many of you I am sure that the internet almost feels like a life line, or an extension of yourself. It’s addictive. We wonder ‘what if I miss out on something important’? ‘What if I miss a great opportunity‘? But the truth is it will all be there when we get back.

I guess for me I am always a bit scared of what I’ll miss out on if I don’t show up to whatever it may be. An event, a party, a social morning. I worry that my kids will be excluded if I don’t let them go to every party they’re invited to. I worry that if they don’t attend an after school activity they will fall behind. I worry that if I don’t make the most of opportunities every time they are presented in life, that I will miss out, or let someone else down. I am a yes person. I am a people pleaser.

The thing is, we all need a break sometimes. I am a classic at over overcommitting. Three events in one day, ummm . . . Yes, yes and yes. But enough is enough, what are we so afraid of? What is the worst that can happen? We are not that important, we can say no and the world want fall apart without us.

One day away from social media is OK, the truth is people probably wont even notice that we didn’t post on twitter for a day. I am sure even Beyonce can miss a day and her fans wont die. One night off the children’s dance class wont mean they are out of the concert. One night missed of football practice wont mean your child wont achieve professional level one day.

It really is OK to stop, to say I need a day off. I need to recharge. If you want to really perform at your best, or want your children to perform at their best, then sometimes we need to stop and check in with ourselves.

Click to Tweet: It’s OK to stop, to say I need a day off! I need to recharge! 

Take a moment now and ask yourself these questions. Really think about the answers, better yet write down your answers.

“Am I OK”?

“What are the most important things to me in my life”?

“What am I doing when I am most at peace”?

“What do I want to embody”?

“What will I do on my next day off that will nurture ME”?

Really focus on that last question. Think about what makes you feel nurtured. Maybe it’s going somewhere, maybe it’s a long hot shower, a swim, a walk, cooking, getting pampered, or a haircut? What makes you relax?

Next time you are given a day off, plan it with nurturing yourself in mind. Remember it is OK not to fill that day off with catching up with everyone and everything. It is OK to stop. I promise the world want fall apart.

Thanks for joining me, love Mackenzie xx

Click to Tweet: Next time you are given a day off, plan it with nurturing yourself in mind.

Today’s post was written as part of  Wellbeing Wednesday, want to know more? Click here.