People hurt us, some intentionally, others do so with no awareness. Some people say or do mean things simply to fit in, or to feel accepted. Some people are aware that their words or actions are hurting people, yet others have no concept that what they say or do can affect someone else so deeply. The hardest thing is accepting that those who hurt us may never be sorry because they simply are unable to self reflect enough to see that their actions are so hurtful. Sometimes people are so busy thinking they are the victim that they can not see that they are also causing hurt too. The reality is that we can only control our own actions and our own thoughts. If someone does not see their wrong doing we cannot force them too. It is frustrating, but it is true.
Hanging on to hurt usually ends up causing us the most pain. Yes someone wronged us, said or did something that hurt, but often we watch them move on and get over it whilst we are left with feeling devastated. It seems so unfair. They did the wrong thing and yet we are left to suffer. But it is in these moments where we need to realise that we have the ability to let it go, we have the power to move forward and be happy. Hanging on to anger or sadness does not hurt them, it hurts us. We need to take our power back, we need to acknowledge we were hurt, but that we are strong and we deserve to be happy again.
Hanging on to anger will eat at us, it will make it harder to enjoy each day, it will affect everyone around us we love, and it will rob us of joy, laughter and happiness. We need to let it go! We have to!
When we move forward we are not saying what they did was OK! We are not saying we were not hurt, or that we had no reason to cry or get angry. We are not saying that we were not wronged! We are saying that we deserve to be happy, that we deserve to move forward and create new, healthy and happy memories. We deserve to surround ourselves with people who care about us, we deserve to forgive ourselves for whatever part we may have played, we deserve to feel good about who we are, and we deserve to love and care for ourselves.
Hanging on to anger is like drinking poison each day, and it hurts us and those we love the most! Some hurts will be so much harder to move forward from than others, and I am not saying you have no right to feel hurt, or let down, of course you do! What I am saying is you need to find ways to move forward and love your life again.
- Talk to someone you trust.
- Getting a counsellor can be a huge help as they know the best ways to support you.
- Know you deserve to be happy.
- Do nice things everyday for yourself. Things like a bath, painting your nails, saying nice things to yourself, meditating, getting a massage, enjoying a cup of tea, or visiting a friend.
- Write a gratitude list each day of 1 to 3 things.
- Go to Yoga, or to the gym.
- Take long walks.
- Practice Mindfulness
- Give to others. Volunteer at a nursing home, or a pet shelter.
- Read a great book, or start a new hobby.
Finding ways to enjoy your day again is so important, don’t bottle up your feelings, make sure you talk to someone. Know that just because someone else may never acknowledge they were wrong does not mean that they weren’t wrong. But hanging onto negative feelings only hurts you. Don’t be the victim anymore, take back control over your thoughts and feelings and find ways to be happy again. Sometimes the best thing we can do is let hurt go. You won’t be saying it was OK, you will be saying that you deserve better!
Love who you are and always know you deserve happiness.
You are beautiful and strong, stronger than you know. You deserve happiness and love, when you know that, when you believe in yourself then you will be able to let go of past hurts and embrace a happier future. You are worthy of love and kindness!
Thank you for joining me, love Mackenzie xx
69 comments
It’s pretty funny this is the post that came before mine…Clearly I still have a lot of anger. This was a really great post for me to read. I need to try to let go, but it is so hard. #EatSleepBlogRT
Were you talking about me here? I hold on to the anger and the hurt, I just cannot forget and as you said, I’m the one who suffers. I have actually promised myself to not do this anymore and today is the first day of this trial once again. Coincidence that yours is the first post I read today?
oh that is a coincidence, I hope this helps you let go! Sending love and hugs xx
I have been in the throes of pain and hurt for a couple of years. I kept doing things to deviate my mind away from the hurt – read books, meditated, moved around a lot with son, moved away from the people who are in close relation and family but who had been nasty and hurtful, but the pain stayed subconsciously. One day I woke up and found, by some miracle, the heart was feeling lighter. On introspection, the hurt and pain had got erased, I could not remember any of it. I realised this happened because I had stopped turning those leaves from my ‘Book of Pain’ which I was used to doing often earlier and so all of it vanished.
This post spoke to me and I thought of sharing with you here.
I am so glad you shared with me, and I am happy to hear that your pain left you xx
Hi Mackenzie, This is a really interesting post and a really great topic to talk about. Pain and anger can have it’s purpose in letting us know when boundaries have been crossed and also telling us about our inner world. If they are used in this way they can be really useful tools. If we always just turn them outwards, expecting others to change their behaviour or wanting others to be sorry, then we don’t get to learn those lessons and actually, as you said, we have no control. These are tough life lessons to learn though, aren’t they?
it is tough to accept, but yes waiting on others to be sorry can be a long and even never ending wait. We need to allow ourselves to let go for our own sake xx
I was trying to mend the world according to my beliefs and thoughts- I was so wrong and it was so uneasy. Now when I cleared my thoughts, Life seems simple. Actions are hurting me less than before. This is such a good post with food for thought. If each one of us turn to this, Life would be easy sailing.
yes unfortunately we cannot heal the world with our love, but we can heal ourselves and help guide and support others xx
Mackenzie this is a brilliant post! I loved your tips and you are absolutely spot on about learning to let go or the anger can eat us up. It has taken me a very very long time to learn this lesson. Thank you so much for the reminder as I feel I was starting to become angry again! Thank you for linking up to #EatSleepBlogRT
oh Catie I really appreciate your comment and I am sorry to hear you have been feeling angry, I am glad this post helped xx
Having a good therapist can make a world of difference. Their impartial stance in a situation can really help to put things into perspective. Really great post x
#bigpinklink
I totally agree!
You are so right about the self-destructive nature of anger. Sometimes it can feel all-consuming and it is important to take a step back and think of letting it go and moving forward to a more positive place. Walking for me is the best therapy when I am feeling like that. #mg
Yes walking is so great for the mind and body
Great post, I am a sensitive soul feel like I hurt quite easily. Since becoming a Mum I definitely struggle to let things go easy – I can hold on to the anger for far too long which I know is never good. #marvmondays
when we become parents we are more easily hurt, our children are everything to us and is someone hurts them it is hard to let go, but we have to try, or it really ends up hurting us more xx
I love your reflective posts like this – so full of wonderful help and advice. I had a situation recently where I was hurt but on reflection I realised that it wasn’t me it was them and that helped heaps – hard to reach that point but feels good when you do!
so glad you were able to find peace in that situation, it does feel good when we can let go xx
I try and explain this to the teenager often. The ability to let go of things and move on is one of the most important aspects of being able to live a generally happy life #anythinggoes
you’re very right, it is!
I needed to read this today after feeling hurt by a group of friends recently. I can be quite sensitive and I do feel hurt by things that others perhaps wouldn’t. I often find once I have been hurt I put my guard up and I push others away, it’s something I really had to work on when I met my husband. #mg
it does become easy to push people away as we are trying to protect our hearts, Ia m so sorry you were hurt by some friends recently I can not imagine anyone wanting to hurt an amazing person like you! But don’t let people who are being mean change the beautiful person you are. Stand strong, and treat yourself with kindness, know that you deserve better!
So important to let go! Everything you mention here rings true. Some great tips. #anything goes
Thank you x
Letting go is the most difficult thing.Hanging on to hurt is harmful for the soul.It’s a difficult journey but worth the effort at self improvement.
it really is
I have realized, talking to myself and self counselling is best when i get hurt. I also try to keep calm and when i am all silent – either i am too hurt or i am raging inside but calm outside! But yes i let go sometimes but i blurt out too!
it’s important not to hold onto hurt as the pressure really builds and then we tend to fall apart. Talking to others and taking care of ourselves is a must xx
This is such a good post. I really wish my ex could read it. Everything you say in it is just so true: let go, don’t be the victim, move on…all such good advice and so well put. Alison x #mg
Thanks Alison, yes I wish some people could read it too
This is all so very true… and yet I really struggle with forgiveness. I say I forgive and I want to forgive but it can be so hard to move past it.
yes it is hard, but remember you are forgiving to heal yourself, not the person who hurt you.
These are great recommendations!! #bigpinklink
thank you
Love this. So positive!! Thanks for joining us for #marvmondays
thanks Fran
Love love love this post, as usual, Mac! It is like drinking poison, it is indeed! I say I always come away from your posts feeling more positive, more focused and more refreshed. It is like you offer a glimpse of my insides and showing me what I should be focusing on. Sometimes I feel so guilty for doing what I love but then that is necessary to move forward and find love. Lovely! Thanks for sharing with #bigpinklink
oh thank you so much what a lovely comment xx
Such a difficult one. It’s so hard to let go of hurt but really it only does us harm. I’ve recently read the book Stop Thinking Start Living and it’s all about not overthinking things and letting go of negative thoughts – something I’m trying really hard to do!! Great post. #DreamTeam
it is hard Sally, and can feel impossible but it does hurt us, sounds like a great book
It is so easy to hang onto hurt but like you say it is poison. I also like what you say about some people will never be sorry. Very true and it took me many years to realise that! #dreamteam
It is a bitter pill to swallow and it is so unfortunate, but yes some people just are incapable of self reflection
Loving this weeks post. I really needed to read this today, thank you x
#Mg
oh thank you x
I think it’s important to leave hurt at the door and not let it in – easier said than done sometimes. #mg
So true
Wonderful post and I couldn’t agree more. Pre-motherhood I was an amateur competitive rower. I read a lot of books around the sport and one athlete wrote about dealing with the psychological challenges around competing – all of the things that they worried about happening to stop them racing or winning. Their coach told them to “Control the controllables and forget everything else.”. That really resonated with because it applies to life in general. What you’ve said here really fits with that. You can change what others do so you need to get yourself back on track! Thanks for sharing your thoughts. #FamilyFun
Oops, last line is “You can’t change what others do…”
Ah this is so true holding on to hurts and anger can be very poisonous for you. Take time to heal of course of them trying to let go and move on can do wonders for you. Thank you for sharing this at #familyfun
it really can, thanks lovely
Beautiful words here. I’m in a really good place at the moment but know someone that is struggling with the wrong doing of another person. It’s not easy and I totally agree that having someone to talk to is important and I really wish that this someone would talk to me about it. I know that she doesn’t want to burdon me with it though. I will try and get her to use some of these tips. Thankyou for linking up to #familyfun
You are so right, hanging onto hurt and anger isn’t a good thing. Your ideas on how to move forwards are great. I keep seeing that gratitude list coming up again and again, I have no excuses now I think. Thank you for sharing with the #DreamTeam
Brilliant post with some fabulous advice. Holiding on to anger and resentment only leads to you hurting more. You need to “Let it go”. Everyone gets hurt in life. But it is so detrimental to your mental health to dwell on these times. It is much healthier to move on and focus on some positives instead. Hugs Lucy xxxx #MarvMondays
I always think that eventually anger makes you ugly inside and out. I mean we all get angry sometimes but it’s certainly holding onto this that can make you hateful. It’s awful when we feel hurt and it’s so upsetting. I always try to take a break, and put things into perspective, even though it’s difficult when we feel hurt and angry. It’s certainly good to talk it over with someone. Thanks for linking up to #AnythingGoes
You are so right. Hanging on to anger is definitely not the answer but sometimes it’s just to hard to move on. It gets easier with age I think because things gain a different perspective. Great post Mac. your insite is always great x #familyfun
I’m definitely guilty of being stubborn and holding onto anger. But I’ve been dealing with a relationship recently with a person who I genuinely feel is a damaging influence and who has no intention of ever recognising that he could be in any way at fault. When you said that some people will never be sorry, you hit the nail right on the head. While I’ve managed to let go of the anger, I don’t feel ready to forgive and put myself in the position to be treated in that same way again. I think sometimes we get so much pressure to forgive and forget, but we need to think about our own self preservation too. It’s a really interesting one, and not one with a one-size-fits-all answer. Thanks for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove
I’m a sensitive person and I can hold onto anger for a long time. I take everything personally and find it hard to forgive. I have got better as I’ve got older. thank you for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove X
What a great post, it’s refreshing to read something that rings true to me. Being hurt is horrible so this is a good post to read. #bigpinklink
Jordanne || Thelifeofaglasgowgirl.co.uk
This is great, I’m terrible for holding on to hurt and anger when I know I should let go. A great reminder. Thanks for linking up to #SundayBest x
I found this really useful, thank you for sharing. Its so true that the only person affecting by your anger is yourself x #SharingtheBlogLove
I need to follow some of this advice. There are a couple of things I need to learn to let go of… Mindfulness would be a great one for me… I swear my head just doesn’t stop!
#SharingtheBlogLove
I can so relate, sometimes I am just so annoyed that my head won’t stop. Thanks for stopping by x
Hobbies really can help you feel cared for, and yes, we all deserve to be happy. #SharingTheBlogLove
You are so wise Mac. Thanks for linking up to #TheList x x
Great advice here Mackenzie. Thanks for joining us at #sundaybest, hope to see you again tomorrow!
Popping back from #sharingthebloglove
My latest post details a hugely humiliating episode in my life where someone very publicly judged me and my parenting. I am still reeling from this. I know I need to let go of what this woman did. Thank you for helping me let go of the last of my negativity #sharingthebloglove
You are so right, holding on to hurt just makes things worse and makes you feel negative. I’ve always been one to move on. Finding people to treat you better, now that’s altogether harder! Great thoughts. #SharingtheBlogLove
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