time to come home

Let’s face it sticking to new years resolutions can be hard, promising myself I can change a bad habit overnight simply because the calendar says it’s 2015 um, yep that’s not gonna happen. I guess you may be a little more disciplined than me, and if you are I say more power to you, for me it’s more about really being ready for a change, being prepared to put in the commitment required to make something work.

When I started my blog it was driven by passion, and a real need for change in my life. I realised without writing I couldn’t truly feel the deep inner happiness I was craving. I think it is the same for any new venture, whether it’s a need to loose weight, go back to study, find a new career, or a new partner, whatever you feel the need to change in your life, or to find some inner peace and renew your passion for life, we need to be committed if we are going to achieve change.

Inner Peace, how I would describe it, and how to find it. 

For quite a while last year I started to feel a lack of enthusiasm for life, and I guess now in hindsight I can say I had probably felt that way for quite a while longer than I realised. It is funny how you go along in life just accepting that it’s normal to feel sluggish, or lack motivation, but as much as I thought it was ‘normal’ for me to feel it, I resented it greatly. I found I was getting more and more fed up with myself, I felt like I just needed a huge shot of energy, yet I couldn’t seem to grasp it.

Hitting rock bottom. It is often said that people need to hit ‘rock bottom’ before they can start climbing to the top, well I am sure I could have allowed myself to fall further, but I realised that I couldn’t do that, I had 3 little people and a fabulous man I needed to stay motivated for. But it can’t just be about other people, I needed to be happy and fulfilled for myself if I was going to be motivated to live a healthier life.

What is wrong? When I would say to anyone (and I didn’t openly say it much), that I was feeling ‘not myself’, they would naturally want to ask “what is wrong”, in return I would answer, “nothing!” Confusing, but the thing is my life was great, happy marriage, happy, healthy children, awesome family, and friends who I have the best time with, yes we are not rolling in money, but that never bothers me, we have a beautiful home, and food to eat, so the question of what is wrong, left me with nothing to answer.

This is where ‘Inner Peace’ comes in, because this I finally learned for me, was in fact what I was lacking. But how do I gain that, when I already have so much to be happy about? I couldn’t think of what I was missing! I started jotting things down and found inspiration to keep jotting things down, then on a 3 week tropical holiday, with no schedule, no running around, and a blissfully relaxed family I had all this time to write, so I did! I started writing a novel and I couldn’t stop. The more I wrote, the more I wanted to write, and surprisingly the happier I was becoming.

I finally allowed myself to delve into what I wanted, more than that, what I needed! I gave myself permission to follow a dream I had long pushed aside, and not just because life got busy, but because I felt I didn’t deserve to indulge in my dreams. I had to allow myself to be happy, I know that mind sound strange, but it’s how I see it, I think we need to give ourselves permission to follow our dreams. We need to allow ourselves the right to happiness and inner peace.

What is ‘Inner Peace’? Inner peace is almost like a ‘coming home‘, it is not somewhere you need to go, to travel to, or to find, it is about realising what was in you all along. It is a feeling of inner strength, coming to understand that you are capable of handling whatever is coming your way. It is about letting go of worries about the future, or regrets from the past, just being in the present moment, nothing needs to be said or done, just feel where you are, and open yourself up to what life is saying to you in the present moment.

Meditation and Mindfulness. Meditation is about trying to find a deep sense of peace, clarity, quiet, and seeing the true nature of things. What we need to let go of though is ‘expectation‘. If we believe we will receive a clarity, or peace that will feel a certain way then we are likely to be disappointed and give up. I can not describe to you how you will feel whilst meditating because we each have our own unique experience of it. If I say you will feel a certain way and you don’t then you will think you are doing it wrong, but there is no right way, it is about having your own sense of peace. Mindfulness is gaining popularity in the mediation world and for good reason. Mindfulness recognises that when we meditate we are likely to have thoughts crop up, and instead of saying “it is not working because I heard a sound or felt a pain and now I’m distracted”, mindfulness tells us that these distractions are normal, that our minds are thinking machines, we can acknowledge the sensation or thought, and then simply direct ourselves back to our breathing. Mindfulness is a great way to introduce yourself to mediation and help you find inner peace. There are some amazing books, one I recommend for beginners is Quiet the Mind, by author Matthew Johnstone.

Thanks for joining me, love Mackenzie xx

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For more Inspirational posts by mg try

• Be Courageous
• Breakfast at Tiffany’s
• Got the Mummy Guilts?
• Let it go
• Everything is Awesome