“We are so lucky to have shape . . . “

65 comments

1. Passing on a healthy body image is so important and so hard. It feels like whatever good work we do at home, gets undone by other children at school who laugh at chubby kids or tease others for having red hair or skinny legs.
   Hopefully our children will remember what we say more than other children.

   1. Yes it is hard, but the more we celebrate or own bodies the more our children will have a chance of loving their own. Thanks Em xx

2. I love this post and completely agree. I am a size 6-8, I eat like a horse and I can’t gain an ounce. I am constantly seeing posts on social media slating those of us who are “skinny”, saying that real women have curves, and referring to our shape as “skeletal” and using the word “anorexic” as an insult. It seems that it is acceptable to mock those of us who are thin and yet should we do the same to those who are over weight we would be jumped on by the lynch mob!! I tell my children that bodies come in all shapes and sizes and that one isn’t any better than the other, as long as we are all healthy that is all that matters. Thanks for sharing. #bigpinklink

   1. It makes me mad that people refer to naturally thinner sized women and girls as anorexic. Anorexia is a serious illness and should not be used as a way to tease others. Sounds like you are an awesome role model for you children, well done!

3. Happy people are those who accept themselves and aren’t on a quest to be something different, with a 12 year old daughter I get fed up with all the comments about who is pretty, fat or thin, I wish she could see she is beautiful and comparison isn’t necessary. #MarvMondays

   1. all we can do is model self confidence and hope after their teenage years are through they will begin to really love themselves xx

4. And returning from #mg …. still loving this post!! xx

5. hear hear! I also, have 2 daughters – and they also have completely different body shapes – but ironically both want the other’s – so my point is that I don’t think anyone is ever happy with their own shape, sadly – they always look to someone else and want tot be like them – it drives me insane and I spend far too many hours pacifying the two of them to make them feel good about themselves – it is not easy. A brilliant read though so thank you! #BigPinkLink

   1. Yes we tend to never be satisfied, but lets hope we can keep them as positive and healthy as we can

6. I put emphasis on being fit & healthy rather than shape. We have treats, then we run about to ‘burn them off’. She sees me, about 2 stone overweight according to my bmi but not too bothered by it, go running, go to the gym & eating cake. I never talk of diets, of being fat, of someone looking too thin. We talk a lot about it being people’s insides that matter, not how they look on the outside. I hope that goes in, I want her to love herself and never feel guilty for living life exactly as she wants. I also hope she never struggles with bullying as a result of weight so I try to emphasise the important of being sporty & active. Hopefully that will stay with her. 🙂 thanks for linking up, your girls both sound gorgeous. 🙂 #bigpinklink

   1. sounds like you are doing an awesome job! Thank you xx

7. I love Kate Winslet! She’s pretty awesome! I also grew up with women who were constantly putting themselves down because they gained 15 extra pounds here and there and when I hit puberty I also got picked on for having a larger booty than my classmates and my wide hips made me look fat in certain clothing types because they don’t make clothes for women like me: small waist, big hips, butt, and thighs. But what really made me ashamed of my body was my family constantly comparing my body to my mother’s and I was brought up to believe that since my mother was a whore and that looking like her meant that I would act like her too, this was a very bad thing and played a huge role in my self image for a long time. I used to diet in my teens and early twenties all the time. I remember that all I had to do back then to lose the extra weight was to go on a fasting for about a week where all I would consume was Iced Tea and milk. I lost weight fast but always had a problem with my weight going up and down. I love food though so I would always go back to eating my favorite foods. When I started clubbing in my early twenties, it was easy to lose weight because I went out dancing almost every night so I was getting the physical activity in but wasn’t exactly eating the healthiest I could have eaten. Now, when I eat healthy and work out, while losing weight (especially in my late 30’s as I’ve found it harder these days) is still a goal my main priority is for my mental health. I have discovered over and over again how eating the right foods and doing the activities that I love doing like hiking, really improves my mental health and I become a much more positive person. I don’t have daughters but I have actually heard both of my boys tell me they think they’re fat and I quickly correct them. You’re right about the thin becoming something that others pick on and I see that play out with boys and young men. It’s ideal for them to not be too thin and to be muscular. While muscles are great on a man, I don’t put that pressure on my boys and I think society is setting up both boys and girls to fail when they put unrealistic, Hollywood-type expectations on them. Great post! I really identify with this one. Thanks so much for hosting #mg

   1. I agree it is tough for boys too! I can really relate to so much about your comment, I was always compared to my mum too and it is hard not to be seen as an individual. I guess as long as we have learnt from growing up, hopefully we can install better mental and body health and attitudes in our children.

8. This is such an important and great post. Passing on the message that beauty is acceptance of our body shape and others is key. Everyone is different and unique and we should be teaching this to our children. We should be teaching them to celebrate how we are different but wonderful. Great post. #mg

   1. Thanks for a great comment xx

9. I very much agree. I’m going to give the Kate the benefit of the doubt and believe that if her shape were different she would say to her daughter that they are lucky to have that one too #MarvMondays

   1. I am sure she would

10. Totally agree, we have to embrace who and what we are and stop looking around at everyone else. Our bodies and our mental attitudes should both be as healthy and happy as they can be. Its good to raise awareness:)

    mainy – myrealfairy

    #mg

    1. I agree healthy in mind and body xx

11. It’s all about getting the balance right. It’s not ok to let our kids think it’s ok to eat junk all the time and be fatal but neither is it ok for kids to worry about their weight and grow up insecure about their bodies. We eat healthy at home and limit goodies like cakes and sweets bit we have treats too and they’re better because they’re that, a treat not an everyday thing. #mg

    1. great comment, thank you

12. Such a well-written post which makes so much sense. I definitely find it to be a sensitive subject, as someone who lost a reasonable amount of weight many years ago and have written about it a couple of times, I find people’s responses to be more on the negative side, some people saying that I’m clearly not eating enough now and that I wasn’t big before. But it’s surely all about what you say – people feeling happy and comfortable in their own skin. Be healthy, be happy X #MarvMondays

    1. I think when people loose weight others think they suddenly a free to say whatever they want. I think sometimes people are jealous too, or they just don’t think before they speak. Thanks for a great comment xx

13. Very well said hun, I think we’re all too focussed on saying one body type is better than the other. We are all different and we cannot possibly judge a body type that we’ve never had! Love it. x
    #marvellousmondays

    1. thanks so much!

14. Love this post, I agree with everything you’ve said. As soon as I read Kate Winslet’s quote at the start I thought “Yeah that’s great for you, but what is that teaching your daughter about other girls who aren’t so curvy?”. I’m all for teaching our daughters to be confident with their bodies but not that they are better than anyone else! Also agree with the “skinny shaming”, I have had people ask me how much I weigh, if I eat enough etc etc – can you imagine the reverse of that!! Great post 🙂 #MarvMondays

    1. Yes “skinny shaming” seems almost acceptable to many people and to me it is just not right to comment at all! All bodies are beautiful and we should all strive for health, not a certain number on the scales

15. I agree with all of this. We need to be teaching our children that everyone is different and no body shape is better than the other. As long as you’re happy and healthy that’s all that matters. I’m naturally thin and always used to get comments that I don’t eat enough and I’m too small. In reality I eat loads, I just don’t put weight on easily. My mum also negatively spoke about her body for as long as I can remember, because of this I’ve always thought I need to stay thin to be happy so whenever I do put on weight (like now when I’m pregnant) I worry I’m going to be ‘fat’ and unhappy for ever. I like your approach to this issue, I hope your kids love their bodies thanks to your brilliant parenting xx #mg

    1. Thank you so much for this comment. Pregnancy can be a time where we really judge our bodies harshly when we need to just focus on taking care of ourselves. Our bodies are amazing and we should treat them as so xx

16. It really worries me that I’m raising two daughters in a world where body image is so pressurised. I hope they grow up to believe that there are some things more important than looking a certain way.
    #bigpinklink

17. It’s really hard. You want them to be active and eat well, but you don’t want them to have a complex and to know that much of what they see on social media isn’t true.

18. I was raised to believe that God loves wondrous variety and that’s why we humans come in all different shapes, sizes, heights, skin colors, etc. That’s a mantra I try to walk though life with – to be accepting just as I wish to be accepted. Body diversity is more than just celebrating curves, it’a about celebrating and accepting the body that houses the most important aspects of ourselves – our hearts, our minds, and our souls. Very thought provoking post.

19. Hi Mackenzie! I think you know my philosophy. I’m all about regular exercise or just being active and eating healthy not dieting. We are all different shapes and bone structures and i wrote a post in my A-Z ‘U’ is for Unique – We are all unique and special but get caught in the media hype of comparing ourselves to others instead of celebrating our unique qualities. Thanks for the link up opportunity and an inspiring post from you as usual. xx

20. This is SUCH a tricky one isn’t it? I’m constant trying promote health (over appearance) to my 5 yr old daughter but I’m also aware that in the big bad world she will be judged/ labelled as ‘the big girl’ or ‘the chubby one’ – we all know how bitchy school girls can be right? She is a totally different build to her brother who is skin and bones despite eating plenty – he is just a ball of energy so burns it off whereas she takes after her mother – zero interest in anything remotely sporty! We did buy a trampoline which was a big hit with her so I try to encourage her to do that if its dry. We also talk about how healthy foods and unhealthy food affect us but its so hard to know if that’s then putting too much emphasis on diet. I never let her hear me talk about diets or see me weigh myself but I had left the 5:2 Diet book lying on the side yesterday and had totally forgotten that she has started reading – when she asked me what it was I had to fib and say it was a story – oops, schoolboy error! #TwinklyTuesday

    1. thanks so much for your comment. It is really hard, but as parents we are being watched even when we think we are not they are like sponges. So we have to work hard to make sure they absorb the good stuff! Thanks again x

21. Coooo-eee just popping in again from #BigPinkLink x

    1. thanks xx

22. I love this post I think you should have an equality of views, and your girls are lucky to have such a loving supportive mother 🙂 I was always so unhappy with my body as a younger teen and I think if I would have had positivity from somewhere I would have a lot more confidence. Lovely post #bigpinklink

    1. thank you so much, what a lovely and thoughtful comment xx

23. Another great post and well said. You always make me think just a little deeper and to see things in a new way. I have never thought that being negative about my own body would rub off on my own child and yet that makes all the sense in the world. I want my child to love herself but I guess I have to show her how to by loving myself first. #mg

24. aaaaaand again #passthesauce 🙂 🙂 x

25. Really interesting post and a very good point. It is such a minefield isn’t it? I have terrible body confidence and much of it stems from things that were said when I was growing up. I hope my kids are happy in who they are and healthy and hope I don’t say anything negative that affects them in later life #twinklytuesday

26. You’re absolutely right. Body image is so important and I do believe that as parents we have an instrumental role to play in developing our children’s self confidence in their own shape and build whatever that may be.
    Beautifully written. Thanks for sharing with #passthesauce x

27. Hiya I love this post so well written. Body image is SO important. Thanks for sharing #twinklytuesday

28. This is a great post, it’s so important to teach our kids to be confident and happy with their body and to accept that there isn’t one bidy type that’s right for everyone. x #Passthesauce

29. Loved this post. I don’t think enough parents remember what it was like being kids and just how much they picked up from their parents, whether what their picking up is conscious or not. I love the message you’re instilling in your house. Such a wonderful, accepting view.

    Although I don’t have kids, I have taught dance off and on for close to 20 years. And body image has always been one of my big deals. In front of the kids, I never, ever say a negative thing about my body, ever. And the instant I hear any negative body talk in one of my classes, I nip it in the bud. In no way do I want them to ever feel bad or embarrassed about the way they look.

    I’d like to thank my “lovely” body image on my career as a dancer. College professors, artistic directors, and other dancers telling you that you need to lose weight, or just calling you a fat a**, does not prove to be effective in helping one develop positive feelings toward their body:-)

    As always, thank you so much for hosting the link-up. I appreciate you!!!

    I hope you’re having a terrific week.

    Oh, quick question. I am so curious (and please excuse my ignorance!), what exactly is bush walking?

    1. I guess it is what you might call hiking, basically walk through forests or as we call it in Australia ‘the bush’, or ‘the outback’. Thanks for the wonderful comment xx

30. You make a brilliant point as always lovely. I think there is a double standard about taking badly about being too thin – it seems that it’s ok to criticise. People each have their own genetics to work with – I think the message you are teaching your girls is perfect. And well done on such an amazing diet of healthy eating! #MG x

31. Really good post. I completely agree with the double standard issue – it appears that it’s acceptable to be criticised for being skinny but not for being larger. We should just encourage and empower all to be body confident and we can do that by nurturing self-esteem from an early age. #abrandnewday

32. This is such a difficult one isn’t it? For all the work you put in teaching them they are beautiful as they are there are probably 5 more at school saying the contrary. It’s the medias fault i think, not our parents. We all strive to be fitter and healthier, I certainly do. Also if it’s not just the media adding to the problem of self image you have the “sugar” / fast food industry adding to it too. It’s like, hey look like this, but eat this quick and easy hamburger.

    All we can do as parents is show the right choices and hope for the best. I also think organisations like the girl guides is great for girls too, I volunteered for them for 10 years up until I had my R last year. They promote body confidence and teach inclusion etc. It’ll be totally worth sending your girls.

    I have a boy, I will show him the right choices too.

33. I completely agree with you. Why can’t we stop judging other people and just worry about ourselves! And if we really have to judge others, at least choose something other than body shape! It’s so good to hear you are instilling a healthy attitude in your girls – to love their bodies and to not judge by physical appearance!
    Thanks for linking up to #AnythingGoes
    Debbie

34. I’ve come to accept that your body shape is what it is and you just need to learn to look after what you have and appreciate the good points about it. The most important thing is being fit and healthy and promoting a good lifestyle. Unfortunately the media’s obsession with self styled “celebrities” that have built an empire on continually parading a fake/enhanced body shape that can never just be attained through healthy living means the role we have to play is even harder and therefore even more important.

35. This is a really interesting take. It hadn’t occurred to me that my daughters may have wildly different shapes and that messages we give to one may unintentionally undermine the other.

    My wife and I have very different body types and eating habits and I’m becoming aware of what template that’s showing our kids. My wife is trying to lose weight through healthier eating and exercise and at the same time trying to encourage me to put on weight. The kids are small now but I can see that as they ger older how confusing that may be for them.

    Thanks for hosting and sorry I couldn’t join you this week.

    #mg

36. Such a great post and I couldnt agree more. My little girl is only two, but already I am really conscius about raising her to have a positive self body image and what that means in terms of the way that I talk about our bodies. It increasingly becomes a challenge in the world that we live in when we look at the messages that are put out there in advertising and social media etc, but its so important that we help our children contextualise them and feel good about themselves. Great post, thanks for sharing it on #MarvMondays. Emily

    1. thank you! Yes it starts early, the pick up everything we say and do

37. thereis definitely a double standard. People should perhaps stick to thank god I am me. There is just as much horribleness in you’re fat as in you’re skinny!

    #abrandnewday

38. Love this! And so perfect for my daughter to read. She is 11 years old and beautiful, but she is bigger than her friends. She is taller, has bigger feet and more of what I would call a woman’s body. She has matured faster than them and has a truly fabulous athletic strong body. Which I tell her every single day and I will never stop telling her that. At the same time I am trying to teach her that everyone is different!

    There is a double standard out there I agree x

    #bigpinklink

    1. sounds like your daughter has a wonderful mum! Thank you so much for letting me know your thoughts it means so much to me! Have a lovely day xx

39. Oh my goodness what an absolutely superb post. Do you know what? I saw Kate Winslet say exactly that on Bear Gryll’s show and funnily enough I thought ‘good on you Kate’ because I was focussing on the need to not make girls aware of body image. But actually you’re right!! She’s doing the very same thing, just in reverse! I won’t go into everything else as I’d go on forever but you’ve hit the nail on the head here, again and again with everything you’ve written! This is going into my April round up of posts. #bigpinklink

40. Love this post. My 8 year old is often picked on about her weight and alienated from groups. Today she came home again from school where her ‘friend’ called her fat in front of the PE group. Although eating a balanced diet and we have even been to the family doctor to rule out any medical reason, she is a healthy girl that God made this way. Your quote ‘I am healthy, I am just the way I am meant to be’ has helped her and me.

    1. I am so glad this post helped you, your daughter sounds like she has an amazing supportive mother and trust me that will guide her through xx

41. This is such a powerful and inspirational post. I have always felt the weight of having a daughter hang heavily on my shoulders. And I worry about how she will see herself and about instilling self-confidence and self-belief. I want Little Miss H to know that no matter what she is like, be it physically or characteristically, then she is fantastic just as she is because that is who she is. My worry is that I struggle to believe this about myself and so it feels like a con trying to get my daughter to believe it. Or maybe the more I convince her that she is perfect as she is then the more I will convince myself. #MarvMondays. Hugs Lucy x

    1. Try faking it till you make it. The more you say positive things to yourself and about yourself the more you will start to actually see it is true! Think of all the amazing things your body does and has done, I find it helps to celebrate our bodies and realise that they are amazing!

42. Lovely article. I struggle with how to talk to my children too. They are teens and I am no longer their primary influencers. I am proud of my not-perfect body but always try to emphasize good health. I can’t shield them from others’ opinions and we know that SnapChat and the likes just make body image even more important. Ugh. Parenting is hard!
    We are on #BlogStars together, thanks to Prabs.

    1. thank you so much, yes there is so much pressure on us as women and as mums. Thanks for a great comment xx

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