Why is it that so many of us fail at new years resolutions, or any resolution for that matter? Whether it is January or not, we often come up with new things throughout the year we want to do, or things we want to change about our lives. Habits we want to break and habits we want to form. One reason many of us fail is a reason that many of us may not be aware of, and that is ‘self love and self respect’.
So what does self love and self respect have to do with sticking to positive changes? Well quite frankly “everything“. If when referring to yourself you say things like,
- I’m not good at
- I’m useless when it comes to
- I’m hopeless at
- I don’t deserve
- I am not worthy of
- I’m not smart enough to
- I have no willpower
- when it comes to . . . . . I’m no good
- I can’t stick with anything
- I’m not worth it
then you have already set yourself up for failure.
Believe it or not our ‘willpower‘ is connected to our core beliefs about ourselves, who we are when no one is looking, and whether we truly believe we are worthy of good things.
Tweet me: Believe it or not our ‘willpower’ is connected to our core beliefs about ourselves.
It is easy to say “of course I deserve good things,” but to mean it deep down isn’t always so easy, and the more we believe we deserve good things the more willpower we will have. Take a moment and really think about what you believe about yourself. Look in the mirror and see the person looking back at you. Do you see someone who is worth of endless love, an abundance of happiness, and someone who deserves respect and admiration? Or do you see someone who is just OK, someone who gets by, but isn’t that great?
Really think about it.
The way you see yourself creates vibes that spread out far beyond your mind. The way you see yourself is projected out to the people around you and even beyond that! If you want good things, you have to feel you deserve good things, if you want great things then you must honestly believe you deserve them!
If you want your boss to take you seriously and respect you in a hope that you are noticed and will receive a promotion, pay rise, or just more appreciation for what you do, then you need to project that.
If you want your partner to treat you with more respect, then treat yourself with more respect, know that you deserve better than what you are getting, really believe it. Then your partner is forced to treat you better, and if he/she doesn’t then maybe they are not the right partner?
If you want to be fitter and healthier this year then you need to believe you can be, you need to believe you deserve to be kinder to yourself, you need to believe that you deserve great health.
The way you talk to yourself when no one is listening, perhaps when you are laying in bed at night, or you are in the shower, or maybe when you are watching TV alone, or getting dressed in the morning, is a great indication of what you truly believe you deserve. If you are saying nice things to yourself then this tells you that you believe in yourself, love and respect yourself! If you believe in yourself then you most likely have great willpower, and you are more likely to be able to achieve your goals.
The more self respect we have directly correlates to the respect we have for our goals, and the more we believe we deserve to achieve these goals directly correlates to whether or not we will achieve them.
The problem lies when we don’t honour ourselves, when we don’t believe deep down within our core that we are worthy of achieving our dreams. It is often the difference between people who are successful and the people who are not. There are amazingly talented people around the world whose talents we will never see because they don’t believe in themselves. Successful people listen to their inner voice, they know what their dreams are and they believe they deserve to achieve them. They put in the ‘hard work’, they don’t let set backs stop them because they know they deserve good things.
Think about your goals, even if you didn’t make a new years resolution you still have goals you want to achieve, am I right? There is something you want, whether it be work related or in your personal life, there is something you want. Imagine now that you deserve it! Imagine you have the power to actually make it happen! How amazing is that, knowing you have the power to make it happen? Well you do!
Start by working on the way you feel about yourself. Don’t say “oh when I get that promotion I will feel good about myself”, feel good about yourself first!
Don’t say “when I can finally run 5 k’s, or fit into that dress, or finish that essay, I will feel good about myself.” Feel good about yourself first.
Stop and look at all you have already achieved in your life. Look at the things you have overcome. You are already an amazing person, it is time to believe it! It is time to respect yourself and follow those dreams with the belief that you DO deserve them!
Start by keeping a gratitude journal, write 3 things each morning or evening that you are grateful for. But instead of the usual gratitude list of being grateful for things others may have done for you, I want you to write down 3 things you are grateful for that relate solely to YOU. For example.
- I am grateful that I have followed my passion to blog
- I am grateful to my body for giving birth
- I am grateful for eating a healthy breakfast this morning
Another day it might be,
- I am grateful for my patience when waiting in that queue today
- I am grateful that I helped my mum get to the shops today
- I am grateful for how kind I am to animals
Make your gratitude list each day about things you love and respect about YOU! Do this for a week and notice how much easier it gets, notice that you WILL start to feel better about yourself.
Take my challenge, believe that you deserve to take this challenge, believe that you CAN do this, it is one week, give it a go. Allow yourself slip up’s, if you miss a day don’t give up, just do it the next day. Don’t expect perfection, don’t expect to never fail, the most successful people have failed lots, but they don’t hate themselves for it, they just keep trying. Go on get out a pen and write 3 things.
You read this post because you wanted to know the trick to creating the life you want. Well now you know. You know that willpower is directly connected to self respect, you know that success in life is directly related to how much you love yourself and appreciate yourself. So now you need to start working at loving, respecting and honouring yourself and success in life WILL follow. Put it out there into the universe, send those positive, self deserving beliefs out there, and watch the good things start to happen. It is not too good to be true, it is true. It is not easy, you have to work for it, but it will happen. It really is time to fight for you!
Thanks for joining me, love Mackenzie xx
Want to learn to love yourself more? Here are some links to other challenges I have given, and also empowering blog posts. Happy reading.
Let’s face it I’m simply amazing
12 comments
I love the idea of a gratitude list of things about yourself as a way to boost self-worth – it’s so easy to put ourselves down and I know that it’s something I certainly struggle with. Will have to give this a try! 🙂
so glad you are giving this a try! It really will make a difference.
I think it’s so important to be grateful for our lives, I love your take on being grateful about stuff that relates to you, great for self esteem. Thanks for the encouragements #fabfridaypost
Thanks Sarah
The phase that kept repeating into my head was “Feel good about yourself first.’ This is so true. You can not change (or change the world) if you don’t believe in yourself. The gratitude list is such a great idea. I think I will also give it a try too! 🙂 Thank you so much for linking up again. It is always lovely to have you linking up here. xx #FabFridayPost
I am glad it inspired you xx
Gratitude and self-acceptance certainly go a long way in creating a meaningful life, Mac. Thank you for connecting to #wyho. There’ll be another post out today. Do join in.
thank you so much xx
Nice tip mg. I prepare gratitude lists but never thought how it will be to prepare gratitude statement that relate to me alone. Will try to implement this.
Yes we are often so grateful towards others, but we need to be grateful for what we have to give also. Thank you for your thoughts
It’s really about self acceptance, self analysis and then self development towards achieving dreams, isn’t it?
Yes it really is, thanks Lata
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