I believe there is a little child in all of us. Some of us are good at still connecting wth that little child and letting them out to play, to remind us to dream, to help us see that possibilities are endless if we only believe…

Some of us have allowed burdens, hardship, fear and being told to ‘grow up’ to pile upon our childhood self and squash our dreams, our curiosity and our hope.

Becoming an adult isn’t easy, although adulthood might mean we can stay up late and watch whatever we want, it also comes with the harsh reality that we have responsibilities and certain things we have to do if we want to afford a roof over our head in order to watch that TV in.

Becoming an adult though doesn’t just come with jobs, bills, car maintenance and the complications of a love life, or lack of one, it also comes with all the baggage we have to carry forth from the childhood and teen years we experienced. Some times it is nice to look in that suitcase and find days at the beach, ice-creams, games of football, unicorns and grandmas endless lolly jar. Sometimes however, opening that suitcase brings up some stuff we’d rather not unpack.

I think for most of us that suitcase holds both. So how do we just bring with us the positives and not all the negatives? Sorry to say I don’t think we can, in fact I think in order to enjoy adulthood and have healthy adult relationships we need to work on unpacking the hard stuff. Is that going to be easy, heck no, that’s why we call it ‘hard‘ stuff. Trust me I have tried to not unpack the hard stuff, in fact I tried to bury it and even encase it in concrete, but it always found a way to rear its ugly head! I have no doubt that many of you can relate?

So I thought I’d share TEN TIPS to help you get in touch with your happy inner child and to help you unpack the baggage that is holding you back from living the life you deserve.

  1. Brain Dump. Grab some paper, preferably a notebook or notepad, it can actually be more therapeutic to use pen and paper as opposed to using a iPad or Computer, but if you prefer to type it then go right ahead. The idea is to just start writing anything that comes into you head, don’t worry about correct spelling, grammar, punctuation, or even if it makes sense! This isn’t for anyone else, it is for you! This is your chance to get all your thoughts and feelings out of your head so really go for it! Choose a time where you will not be interrupted, turn off your phone, and get comfortable. Once you feel you have gotten everything out you have a few choices. You can pop it somewhere safe to read over at another time, burn it, rip it up, or paint over it. Alternatively you may like to share some of it with someone you feel safe with, or even with a therapist.
  2. This one also involves writing; make a list of some of the things you loved as a child. This could be foods, places you visited, a movie or book that made you happy. Chose a few of these things and then get out your calendar. Schedule some of these things in to your current life. You may take a day trip to somewhere you loved. Cook a meal you used to love, re-read a childhood favourite book, or read it to your child or a friends child. Watch the childhood movie you loved, or go to the cinema and watch a current kids movie and allow yourself to immerse yourself in the fun of it.
  3. If you are struggling with particular memories, or past trauma, I can not recommend highly enough that you seek a professional to help you through dealing with unpacking those memories. It really helps to have someone you trust and someone who is qualified to help you move forward.
  4. Schedule in You Time! Grab out your calendar and schedule in times where you promise to dedicate time to being kind to yourself. Even if it is only one hour per week. Make it official, block out the time so no one can schedule you to do anything else during that time. Plan ahead of time what you will do during the time you have allocated. If you are struggling to find the time have a think about how much time you spend on social media, or procrastinating, or watching one too many episodes on Netflix and realise you matter more than those things and making time to work on your happiness and self care is your new priority!
  5. Keep a journal. It may sound like something you did when you were a teen, but it works a bit like a brain dump just on a smaller scale each day. Spend five minutes during your nightly routine writing down anything you want to get of your chest. Then allow yourself to take a few deep breaths and put it to the side so you don’t spend the night stressing about it. If you have a lot on your mind then try doing it earlier in the night so it is not fresh on your mind when you are going to bed. Ideally follow this by doing idea 6.
  6. Mindfulness, or meditation is a great way to unwind before sleep. Although it is an app you have to pay for I highly recommend CALM. There are free apps out there too so feel free to try those. At first I thought I wouldn’t use Calm as it cost money, but someone I trusted highly recommended it and it has made a huge difference to my nightly routine. They have a new daily calm you can listen to every day and also night time meditation tracks as well as the option of just calming music for sleep or even adult sleep stories. It can really help eliminate negative, or ruminating thoughts that keep you awake. Sometimes my fifteen year old uses it too and my 12 year old uses it every night, she loves the kids sleep stories.
  7. Gratitude is the attitude. If you find mornings particularly hard try writing just five dot points of things you are grateful for each morning. Sit up in bed grab a notepad and jot down the first five things that you can think of that you are grateful for. It can be anything from a happy memory, a conversation you had the day before, morning cuddles with your dog, a coffee you are about to make, the sunshine, a warm bed, or just being alive!
  8. Positive affirmations. We often talk to ourselves in ways we would never consider taking to someone we love, if you find yourself talking negatively about yourself or to yourself then it is time to be a little kinder to YOU! Try saying some positive things about yourself, find some things you like or admire about yourself and focus on those. For example; “I am really good at making others laugh” or “I have such beautiful hair,” “I am really good at gardening,” “I am good at making others smile.” “I am talented when it come to…” Fill-in the blank! Think about what talents you have, what things others often mention you are good at, or things that you know you well at, anything from your job, puzzles, sports, knitting, making others feel welcome, fixing things.” We all have talents, be proud of yours and remind yourself often!
  9. Remove toxicity from your life. From toxic people, to toxic substances or bad habits, it is time to kick them to the curb! Time and time again people work so hard on themselves and then get brought right back down by toxic friendships or even family members. If there are people in your life who do not support you, do not make you feel good about yourself, or who constantly drag you into unhealthy life patterns then you need to cut them out. If you are having trouble doing so the seek support from other kinder people in your life or get professional help. You deserve better!
  10. Have fun, laugh and play, see the world through the eyes of a child! There is so much to see, explore, touch, taste, it is time to get in touch with all your senses and one of those being your sense of adventure. There are so many serious things going on around you and if we constantly only pay attention to them then it is so hard for us to let go and have fun! Make a pack with yourself to have more fun, get a friend to join you, or do it alone, but just do it! Feel the wind in your hair on a wild weather day, swim in the ocean, ride a bike, visit a theme park, eat ice-cream for dinner one night, put on your favourite song and sing into your hairbrush, book weekend away with a friend who makes you laugh, take a bubblebath, go to a comedy show. Live, laugh, play! Get in touch with the fun you and surround yourself with people who you enjoy, people who believe in you, people who are thrilled when you have success. Life is for living, so live it your way!

I hope you will embrace your inner child, and that this post will encourage you to surround yourself with people who truly deserve your company. If things from your past, or people in your present are standing in your way please know you deserve so much more and seek out the support you need. This is your life and your time, don’t waste it, it is time to seek the life you want and believe you are worthy of it! Because YOU ARE!

Thanks for stopping by, love Kylie xx

Featured photo credit @daria.shevtsova.