So much of my life I have felt like I am wearing a mask, (not some wacky mask I bought from a dress up store), but an invisible mask, a mask that hides any negative thoughts I have had about myself.
Since I was about 14, I would stand in front of the mirror and feel like the me looking back at me wasn’t good enough to show others. For whatever reason, I don’t really know why I didn’t feel ‘good enough”. Unfortunately many tweens and teens feel this way, oh who are we kidding, most adults feel this way too! (At least that’s what I tell myself to feel better, everyone’s a little crazy, right?)
I really do think this is the case, I clearly remember my gorgeous mother (love you mum), looking in the mirror at her stretch marks, or her curves and complaining about her body, she was “too fat”, or “not pretty”, or it was “my teeth aren’t right”, and as an impressionable child, I just thought she must be right, because your parents are always right, aren’t they? Well as it turns out NO they’re not always right at all! My mum was beautiful, is still beautiful in her 60’s, but to this day she would scoff if she read that. She still can’t take a compliment and not because she is being modest, oh no, she truly doesn’t think she is, or ever has been a gorgeous woman! It doesn’t matter who tells her otherwise, or how many men still check her out, or even how much her husband desires her, she still doesn’t see the amazing woman staring back at her from that mirror. Yes she has never been catwalk model skinny, and she’s only just 5 feet tall, but she is beautiful, her voluptuous breasts, her little waist, her brown curls, and more than that, her inner beauty is what I and many others see. So why can’t she?
Why can’t more women see their inner beauty, or recognise their outer beauty? We are all striving to be something we are not. So many women of all shapes and sizes complain about their appearance. My 2 model thin girlfriends sit there comparing their body’s, “my legs are too thick”, or “my breasts are too small”, my short friends want to be taller, my friends with no hips, want hips, and you guessed it, my friends with hips and butts hate their curvaceous bodies. Seriously what are we thinking! Let’s aim to be healthy for sure, but let’s not put ourselves down!
So from 14 I hated my body, and my face, I had freckles, (not even that many), but I plastered on foundation from 14 to cover them up, that’s crazy, (my daughters have freckles and I think they are super cute). And let’s not get started on ‘yo yo diet’ and ‘diet pills’ (what was the chemist thinking letting 14 year old girls buy these?) But it was more than that, I didn’t like me, and I am still learning to try to “like” me! At nearly 40, shouldn’t I just be embracing who I am? Yet I look around the school ground or at my Facebook page and I see so many of us are still on a journey of trying to accept ourselves and like ourselves. I mean how do we measure if we are a “good” person, or “worthy”, or “loveable”? Is it if we drive an expensive car, perhaps if we are happily married, maybe if our kids are successful, or have the best birthday party in their class, I could go on, clothing, house, pay check . . . We put on a mask, we go into debt to have the big house, the car, the handbags, and still we struggle to really love ourselves and celebrate our gifts and talents, or live an “authentic life”.
So for me, this blog, whatever this is, it is me, it is my attempt to be honest with myself, to embrace all my crazy thoughts and indulge in my passions, writing, photography and reading. (Even if no one else ever reads this, I am doing this for me.) If anyone is reading this then I hope in the process of this blog, to inspire you to live true to yourselves, to know it’s OK to not look like you imagine you should, or have to have the latest clutch, if we all removed our masks even a little bit, we might be surprised how alike we actually are. Everyone feels sad some days, or not good enough, smart enough, skinny or pretty enough. We all have things we don’t like about ourselves and it’s okay, it is I promise.
Let’s celebrate women, lets support each other, let’s be true to our own gifts, and celebrate when others succeed too. I am in no way saying it is easy, for me writing this blog, putting myself out there is extremely difficult, but if I’m not writing then I’m not being true to myself, writing for me is like breathing fresh air, I need it, and for so long I denied myself because it felt silly, or indulgent, I felt if I tried, I’d fail, but the truth is I fail more if I give into fear.
Just for today, remove your mask, even a little, just share a little bit of you, or spend time indulging in one of your passions, or listen to someone else share a little about themselves, or share in their talents, and be proud of ourselves, maybe if we do a little today, it will be easier to do a little more tomorrow! Think about it!
Thanks for joining me, love Mackenzie xx
15 comments
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feeling with such honesty. Im sure so many of us can relate to this yet struggle to express how we feel. Very inspiring!
Great sentiment – we all need to be more accepting and loving of ourselves and each other and in turn be more kind and supportive! And ‘mum’ believe us when we say you are so beautiful!!!
Thanks for your gorgeous comments ladies, really appreciate your feedback!
I will try to look at myself in a new light after your inspiring words.
Your feelings and thoughts are right on. Your words, very inspiring. I don’t know how to express myself
Thank you so much for your thoughts and kind words, I love getting feedback so I thank you for taking the time, it means a lot
I think many of us are on the same journey to self acceptance and I do it for my daughters as much as myself.
It is amazing how many women and men struggle to find inner peace, and to accept themselves. I try so hard to be an example to my daughters, to not criticise myself, I guess we fake it until we make it. I feel in my late 30’s more comfortable in my own skin than ever before, and that’s a great feeling.
Just came across your blog through mummascribbles and I will definitely be coming back for more. I love the authenticity and honesty with which you write and can certainly relate to this post. Over the past few years, I have learnt to peel off all the layers of harsh judgment I had on myself which I accumulated when I was a teenager. It is a tricky process but such a joy to come to terms with years of inner conflict and finally embrace who I am . It sounds like your blog is a real journey of personal development. Thank you so much for sharing your self-reflections. Definitely an inspiration as it encourages us to also discover ourselves in a new light.
#twinklytuesday
I am glad you found my post helpful, yes it certainly is a journey of personal development for myself and anyone else who comes along for the ride with me. I am so glad you will be coming back and joining me. Thank you so much for your lovely comment, comments like this inspire me to keep going! Feel free to check out my ‘challenge page’ too as this will offer you personal challenges for your own journey. Look forward to getting to know you better. Thanks for coming by xx
I love this post. I love the way you talk about your beautiful mother. We are in such a competitive world now and it seems to be that we are forever not feeling as significant as others. Whether it’s our bodies, jobs, houses…like you say, it always feels like we have to have a level of one upmanship. Thank you for writing this and thank you so much for sharing it on #twinklytuesday. I hope that it makes lots of other think the way you do now xx
P.S. I have loads of freckles and I am at an age now that I completely forget they are there!!
It is great to get to an age where we don’t worry so much about the small things like freckles, I like them now, I don’t even know why I didn’t. I guess I grew up looking at Claudia Schiffer and thinking I needed to be like her to be seen as beautiful. So glad I have let go of those hang ups. I am not picture perfect, but I am beautiful as I am. Thanks for the feedback Lisa xx
I wonder if anyone manages not to do this, at least to some degree. I’m really pleased that I can let my mask slide away with my wife and a few close friends. It gets tiring keeping it on all the time.
#abitofanything
Great post! I wear a mask but for different reasons but I do think that most people wear one of some kind. #abitofeverything
This is a very open and honest post. I am one of those women that doesnt like the way she looks. These days its even harder, because I AM fat, it is hard to shake off the negative associations, ugly, lazy, stupid etc that come with it.
My biggest mask however is related to my mental health. The happy, smiling, outgoing woman people se when I go out is definately a mask.
Thank you for linking up with us, Tracey xx #abitofeberything
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