No sugar drops tonight.

I feel like crying, really crying. You know that ugly cry, the puffy eye one. It’s just been a long week, and to be honest I’m tired.

I’m OK, I am. I read a great article about how crying can release stress, that it is OK to cry, in fact it’s good for us. But the problem is if I let it out, and really cry, I look terrible. A friend advised me it’s worth it, the release of emotion is worth the puffy eyes. The problem is my eyes will be puffy at least 24 hours, and well the thing is, life is just too busy to have puffy eyes the next day.

Is that bad? I probably sound so vain. It’s not all about looking bad though, it’s the unwanted attention. I really don’t want to be asked “what’s wrong”? I know I need to talk about my feelings, and hey I even blog about them, but I don’t like attention on myself. I don’t want everyone fussing over me.

Their is nothing seriously wrong, I just get really emotional when I’m over tired. We had a scare this week. Aspen has been suffering from bad headaches, nausea, dizziness and blurred vision. A neurological exam showed some concern and they were worried she may have lesions on the brain. She was sent for an emergency MRI.

Watching my ten year old daughter having an MRI was an awful experience. She was so brave and the doctor was so great with her. Thank goodness the test showed no lesions. The relief was overwhelming. I thought that would be it, but the doctor called us back. They did another exam , and still they are concerned with her results. It is not urgent, as at least the MRI was good. But she is now waiting to see a neurologist at the Royal Children’s Hospital.

Tonight I read a blog post by a beautiful woman named Julia from the blog rainbeaubelle.com her husband is very ill with Cancer. It just broke my heart reading her post, and I feel so blessed that Aspen’s MRI was all good news. So yes I want to cry, cry with relief over her results, cry with worry as they still don’t know why my baby girl is so unwell, and cry for those who are suffering so terribly. I know I have to allow myself to cry sometimes, we all do.

My sister in law has a beautiful niece who is a stunning, fun loving, strong teenager, she has been battling cancer. She has just gotten some bad news. I have another friend who has two people close to her who are also extremely sick. It just makes me sad, and it makes me grateful for my healthy family.

It has been an emotional week, and there has been a lot happening, I shouldn’t even be writing this so late at night, when I am tired and irrational, but I am me, I am Mac, and I promised to be honest with myself and with you on this journey. Life isn’t always sunshine and sugar drops. Tonight I will sleep, and tomorrow will be a new day. Tomorrow I will embrace happiness, I will be thankful for my amazing life. Actually I don’t need to wait until tomorrow, I am choosing happiness right now, I will sleep with happiness in my heart.

Life is just such a gift, when I think about all the love that surrounds me, and the beauty in this world I feel so blessed. I hope all my lovely readers have a wonderful day today and tomorrow.

Click to tweet:  take the time today to celebrate the love & beauty in your world. Embrace it with open arms & an open heart. 

Thanks for joining me, love Mackenzie xx

Remember if you are having a bad day . . .

Tomorrow hug your loved ones a little closer,

laugh out loud with your friends,

turn up the radio and dance,

be thankful for the small moments,

      and celebrate the big.      mg xx