“Honesty and transparency make you vulnerable. Be honest and transparent anyway”. Mother Theresa
This just speaks volumes to me, it really does. When I made the decision to become a writer and a blogger I also made the decision to be honest and transparent. I knew in making that decision I was making myself vulnerable, only I didn’t realise how vulnerable.
The definition of Vulnerable according to oxforddictionaries.com is,
“Exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally“
And to be honest this is sometimes exactly how I feel when posting one of my blog posts. Writing is a very personal experience and when I am sharing some of my deepest thoughts I feel very exposed.
When I first began writing I felt quite free, I think because I wasn’t expecting anyone to actually read my work. So much for believing in myself. Suddenly people were reading me, I was getting hundreds of views and people were sharing my work on their Facebook pages. This was great, and also very scary.
To be honest I began to question if I should be so honest. But I guess I don’t know how to be anything but who I am. So I had two choices.
1. Stop writing.
2. Get over it, and just continue to be ME.
Option one would be the easy way out, I could close down my website and hide away. Pretend it never happened. But I was at a point in my life where hiding was no longer an option. It was time to be me, to bare my soul and be honest with myself and my readers.
I’m not going to lie, it was scary, and at times it still is. Making ourselves vulnerable doesn’t come naturally to everyone. As the definition says, when we are vulnerable we open ourselves up to being hurt, criticised and even rejected. No one likes to feel judged, no one wants to be rejected, it hurts. Not to mention ‘us writer types’ are often already very self critical and sensitive.
But I made a promise, and not just to my readers, but to myself. I don’t do fake, I just can’t pull it off, nor do I want to. I may not always love what I do, or even like who I am sometimes, but if I want to grow then I need to be honest with myself. Blogging is a great outlet, (and if you are considering it then I recommend it), it is a great way to be true to yourself and learn about yourself. It’s like looking in the mirror, only you see inside your soul instead of your body or face. It is a true reflection of who you are.
Click to Tweet: Writing is like looking in the mirror, only you see your soul, and not your face.
So yes I am opening myself up to getting hurt, but the truth is not everyone is going to like me, or like what I write. I can’t worry if I am embarrassing myself when I confess to something nutty that I’ve done, worry I may offend someone, or worry that people might think I have terrible grammar. This is my space to be me, it is my journey to self discovery. It is a record for my children to one day read and lean more about their quirky mother. I hope that it helps others along the way, I hope at times it makes them laugh, or that they can relate to the mayhem of motherhood or life. I hope that some of my posts help people to overcome hard times, or inspire them to live a more authentic life. If I hold back, if I am not honest with you, then I can never hope to achieve those things, and that would be sad, that would be a waste.
There are many times in our lives that we make ourselves vulnerable. One of them is when we enter a new relationship. Be that a friendship or a new romance. It is not easy to put ourselves out there, and show our true self, especially when we’ve been hurt or rejected before. But we need to embrace our own truth, there is no point me writing a blog post if I am trying to be something I’m not. There is no point me being friends with someone if I can’t be myself. And most importantly there is no point being with a partner who doesn’t love and accept me for who I am, or what I have to offer.
I decided very early on when I met my (now) husband that I was going to let him see not only all my wonderful qualities, but also let him know the mistakes I had made, know my quirks, and see my scars. I knew if he didn’t love me for ‘me’ then long term it would never work. I made myself vulnerable and it was scary, but it was the best decision I ever made, and it also allowed him to be his true self too.
Thanks for joining me, love Mackenzie xx
Loading InLinkz ...Linking up with Friday Reflections is a great way to find fresh inspiration for your writing and blogging. It provides you with endless ideas to write about! You have the support of other bloggers visiting your site, offering advice and support. It is a great way to connect with other passionate writers and make new and wonderful friendships! Linking up with us will also increase your site traffic and adds many more comments on your post and opportunities for your work to be shared on social media.
On top of all that Mackenzie and Janine will be putting their heads together each week and choosing their favourite post.This could be you! If you are chosen you will be the ‘Friday Reflections featured writer‘! We will also tweet a link to your post, and a link on Facebook to let all our followers know how fabulous you are. It’s a great way to grow your personal following.
This weeks featured writer is Debbie from Debbie in Shape with her inspirational post about turning 40! The post was titled
40 Reasons To Feel Fabulous At 40
Happy birthday Debbie and thanks for linking up!
How you can become Involved this week.
Simple! First of all check out the 3 prompts we have provided for the week and let your inspiration take over, start writing!
FREE writing, reflect and write about anything!
Write about the time you moved to a new city.
Reflect on the following quote: “Honesty and transparency make you vulnerable. Be honest and transparent anyway”. Mother Theresa
Grab our badge and proudly display it on your sidebar and/or on the post you are linking up.
Then on Friday just link up your post with us. This can be done right here.
Rules:
- After Linking Up, you must read and leave a comment on both the hosts websites.
- You must read and comment on the post linked up before your own.
- Please also read and comment on at least one other linked up post that grabs your attention.
- Of course you are welcome to read as many as you like! Remember if someone reads and comments on yours it is lovely to return the favour.
- Janine and Mackenzie will read all posts linked up with Friday Reflections, and then choose their featured writer! The Link up will be open from Friday afternoon GMT + 8 until the following midday Wednesday.
- If you link up something inappropriate, Janine and Mackenzie reserve the right to remove your post.
- All posts must be your own, and original content. One post per week.
- Be kind! Us writer’s work hard, show each other respect at ALL times.
- Most importantly have FUN, be creative, reflect and love what you do!
Social Media.
Sharing is caring. Tweet your posts to us and @FridayReflect using the hashtag #FridayReflections or #RefectiveFridays.
Find us on Twitter
Join our Facebook Group where you can share your weekly post. We will also add our new prompts here and announce our weekly Friday Reflections Featured Writer. It could be you!
Final Word from Mackenzie and Janine.
We are so excited to begin our journey with you, to invite old friends to join us on this reflective journey, and meet wonderful new friends and amazing bloggers along the way! Feel free to Link-Up each week, or whenever you are feeling inspired.
We started this Link-Up together when we realised we shared a passion for reflection, (you can tell this simply by reading our website names), and we share the desire to inspire and empower others to follow their true path.
Enjoy and start following your path to happiness, with Janine and Mackenzie at Friday Reflections.
You can follow Janine on Twitter and Facebook or on Instagram.
You can Follow Mackenzie ‘mg’ on Twitter and Reflections From Me Facebook Page, or mg Facebook. Instagram
Images on this post are all by Reflections Photography see more atphotography.reflectionsfromme.com and follow Steven Glanville @photoglanville
Next weeks prompts if you want to get a head start are as follows,
June 5th
Why is it important to be able to say ‘no’?
Reflect about the first time you saw your newborn.
Reflect on the following quote: “Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage”. Lao Tzu.
6 comments
It is scary but I think sharing your authentic self only leads to good things. This is why you have such a great blog and so many followers. I get a bit freaked out sometimes and my husband worries that I share too much, but it has been those posts that I have been afraid of posting that I have received the most support. Keep writing I say, and those that don’t like it can just click away.
Man its such a fine line and a hard journey, this writing biz! I have been there many times and find myself there again which is why I couldn’t even go with the vulnerability prompt. I feel so bloody raw at the moment…I didn’t want to totally strip naked on my blog (metaphor everyone!). So much I want to say but so much I can’t say because of where I live, who reads my blog, perception, potential blacklisting, blah blah blah.
You are doing good. Just remember to give yourself a break but also keep revisiting WHY you are writing your blog. It’s okay to cut back if you need. To be honest since Ive been writing lest Ive got more readers and I don’t feel so stressed. WEIRD!
I love that you stay true to yourself! Being vunerable builds strength. I can say this after 5 years of blogging and a published memoir. And I’ve found that the things I was most reticent to share, were the very things that I got the most positive reaction from writing about.
I loved what you wrote. Opening myself, showing the vulnerable side of me helps me bring balance to my logical life.
I am forcing myself out of the rat race. I am slowing coming out of the armor I put on in my first years in Belgium and sincerely, I do not feel like wearing it ever again.
Thanks you ladies for the opportunity of the link party and for the feature.
Well written! It takes a lot to be yourself, out loud 🙂
This is something I have been thinking about a lot lately. I have wondered whether my writing is too open, too personal, and maybe too sad for some people to read – maybe even for myself and my husband to read. But as you say it is an outlet, and I see it as a positive force overall so am carrying on! thank you for reassuring me that it’s ok to do that! X
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