Since starting my career as a blogger I have been asked many times by friends, family, and other writers ‘why did I start blogging’? The answer is because I love to write. Why do I love to write? The answer is simple.
I write because it is my passion
The question should not so much be ‘why do I write‘, as it should be ‘why did I not write for so many years‘? I look back now and I wonder why I held back, I guess deep down I know why.
I made excuses like I am too busy, but the truth is I felt like I didn’t deserve to write. It felt self indulgent, it felt selfish and it felt silly. I mean who did I think I was, as if I was good enough to write, as if anyone would want to read what I had to say. The fact is I didn’t believe in myself, or in my ability to write. It was easier to say I didn’t have the time, than to really look at myself in the mirror and ask myself the hard questions.
- “Why don’t you think you’re good enough Mac”?
- “What are you afraid of”?
- “Why don’t you deserve to follow your dreams”?
A year ago it hit me hard that I didn’t know who I was any more, somewhere along the way I had lost track of who I truly was, and what my purpose was in this world. I had lost the ability to truly love and respect myself. I was able so easily to be there for others, but I had lost the ability to ever truly be there for me. In fact I realised that I had spent the majority of my life trying to be what everyone else wanted me to be, no scrap that, I was trying to be what ‘I‘ thought everyone else wanted me to be.
I was trying to be the daughter I thought my parents wanted, the friend I thought my friends needed. I was always such a ‘good listener’, only I didn’t know how to listen to ME. No wonder I was feeling burnt out.
The thing is when you try so hard to be what you think others want you to be, you forget that all they actually want is for you to be YOU!
I never really understood that saying about you having to love yourself first, before you can love others, or allow them to love you. But I get it now. If you are not happy with yourself, then it is really hard to fully give yourself to others, or to trust that they will love you despite what you consider you faults to be. It is one thing to realise you have to care for or love yourself, it is another thing to achieve that.
This is where I believe following your passion comes in. I don’t believe we can really be happy if we are denying ourselves the thing that makes us happy. Some people think this is a partner, a lover, husband or wife, but the truth is it is never going to be a person who fulfils us, or completes us. Having a partner should compliment who we are, and add to our joy, but it is looking inside ourselves for that which makes us who we are, that uniqueness, that will truly complete us. No boyfriend, or shiny ring, no new car, or awesome outfit is going to fill the void we feel deep within. We have to figure that part out for ourselves.
So when this weeks Friday Reflections prompt asked me “why do I write”, these were my thoughts.
I write because
- it is my passion
- it makes me smile, (like from ear to ear smile)
- it makes me happy
- it completes me
- I would rather be writing than watching an awesome TV show
- I think about writing all the time, I want to be doing it all the time
- I can’t not write, I have to do it
- it is who I am
- it makes my soul sing
I love it, I love writing, I am sad for the girl I used to be. She missed out on so much by depriving herself of who she truly was. But I had a lesson to learn, I needed to grow. I needed to learn to trust myself, to stop and listen to my soul, to allow myself to live my own truth.
The wonderful thing about being me now, is I like me, I actually like who I am. I have moments where the old me creeps back in, self doubt, negativity take over. I am not always sunshine and rainbows, but I quickly remember what life was like when I wasn’t being true to myself, and I give myself a gentle, but swift kick!
I thought it was selfish to fulfil my dreams, but I know now that it is the best gift I can give my husband and my children. I am a happier wife, a happier mum to be around. It is the best gift that I can give my parents too, their daughter being who she was meant to be, a happy daughter was all they ever truly wanted, it is what every parent wants. I didn’t need to fit a mould, I needed to make my own.
The unexpected and beautiful thing is watching how me following my dreams has affected others around me. My husband has now found his own passion, and he is happier than he has ever been, and I have had another writer tell me I have renewed her passion to writing too!
Click to Tweet: Happiness and fulfilment are contagious. Follow your dreams & others will too.
So that is why I write. What about you, what are you passionate about? I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Thanks for joining me, love Mackenzie xx
Loading InLinkz ...Click here to see our rules. Each week Janine and I provide you with 3 prompts. Here are this weeks prompts, and don’t forget the Linky is open through until Wednesday, so plenty of time to get creative and have fun.
– Why do you write?
– Reflect on one of the greatest lessons you have learned.
– Reflect on the following quote:
“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched – they must be felt with the heart.” -Helen Keller
Remember to comment on the hosts posts, and at least two others, share the love. Grab our gorgeous button and display it on the post you are linking up. Can’t wait to read your posts.
12 comments
Such a beautiful blog! And I am glad that you started writing because so we all can get to learn your better and enjoy such nice reading. I am linking up today for the first time. Exciting!
So thankful to you for linking up with us, your post was amazing and so beautifully written. Thank you too for the lovely comment, it made my day!
Oh, I wish I could like this post a hundred times! Love it and can relate to nearly everything you have said – that’s exactly where I am now! I will be sure to participate in your Friday Reflections in the future – I’ve already written and posted this Friday’s post but I will definitely start next weeks!!!
Wow thank you, what a lovely comment. I would love to have you link up in the future, thanks xx
This is a lovely post, you are encouraging those of us who are still a work in progress that we can get there. Thanks for the inspiration Mac. X
I totally agree – everything you said. Every single word.
What a gorgeous post. Writing is such a personal and intimate thing and it takes a lot of courage to share your words with the world. There is no perfect story, no perfect ending, only a wonderful journey a long the way.
Thanks so much for your lovely comment, and you are so right xx
I can’t tell you how much I loved this post.
All you said about doubting yourself of being good enough was the same reason why I never wrote and I repent that. Admittance of one’s true thoughts is the key. Because then overcoming those areas becomes easier. Loved the statement – “The thing is when you try so hard to be what you think others want you to be, you forget that all they actually want is for you to be YOU!”
My mom has always been like you – putting others over self – that now she finds a void in her life. She would be so inspired if she reads your post right now ! Thanks for sharing ! 🙂 xx
I can’t tell you how much I loved this post.
All you said about doubting yourself of “not” being good enough was the same reason why I never wrote and I repent that. Admittance of one’s true thoughts is the key. Because then overcoming those areas becomes easier. Loved the statement – “The thing is when you try so hard to be what you think others want you to be, you forget that all they actually want is for you to be YOU!”
My mom has always been like you – putting others over self – that now she finds a void in her life. She would be so inspired if she reads your post right now ! Thanks for sharing ! 🙂 xx
What a beautiful comment, thank you so much xx
Ditto. It’s as if I wrote this.
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