If you were guaranteed not to fail at ‘something’ wouldn’t you be more likely to give ‘whatever it is’ a go? I would. When I look back at the things I haven’t even attempted I can honestly say that in large part it was due to a fear of failure. I have given away opportunities because I lacked confidence in myself, because I thought I would fail and let myself, and others down.
I hate to fail, who doesn’t? When we set out to try something new, or attempt something we have always dreamed of we certainly don’t wish to fail. We give something a go because we want to succeed, we want to make something happen. For much of my life I believed that it was better to not try and push my luck, I should just stick to the easiest route, do the things I know I am good at. And to be honest, even if I put myself out of my comfort zone I didn’t hold out much hope that I would succeed, in fact I was pretty positive I would do poorly. I remember when I got my first essay back from a university teacher and I had received a high distinction, I actually rang her to double check she had written down the correct mark and hadn’t mistaken my work for someone else’s, (yes I seriously lacked confidence).
I often questioned my successes, I guess I almost felt like I didn’t deserve them. I didn’t believe in myself or really even think I had the right to do so well, or be so happy. I guess that’s also why I didn’t push myself as a writer. I felt like I was being self indulgent to spend time writing and I certainly didn’t believe my writing would be of any interest to anyone. I thought people would judge me harshly and think that I was ridiculous for thinking that I could actually call myself a ‘writer’. The truth was I was the only one being harsh, I was my own worst enemy, my harshest critic! I was the one person standing in the way of my dream of writing because I was scared, in fact I was terrified of failing! I didn’t believe I was ‘good enough’, I didn’t believe that I deserved to follow my dreams.
Early last year I found myself spiralling down, I was loosing my identity and my lust for life. It just felt like one day was rolling into another. I was happy enough, nothing was terrible in my life, but there was something missing. More than that though, the truth is I was becoming fed up with myself! I was fed up with putting myself down, of giving up on my dreams before I had even attempted them. What was I thinking? How could I think that ‘not trying at all’ was the way to live my life? Wasn’t I doing exactly what it was I was trying to avoid? I was so scared of failing that I couldn’t see that I was already failing, I was failing myself because I wasn’t even trying, I wasn’t living my life. I wasn’t being authentic, I wasn’t allowing myself the freedom to be me.
So what would I attempt to do if I was guaranteed not to fail? That was the question I had to ask myself. It is not an easy question. I mean sure on the surface it is, I could answer a thousand things, climbing Mount Everest, opening a book store, invent a time machine . . . . but what is the one thing deep down that I want the most. The one thing I have always been afraid to really go for? The one thing my soul craves, the thing I have pushed aside for years even though deep down I know it is part of me? Writing. The answer seems so simple, yet it took me so long to really accept it, to really acknowledge that without writing I was drowning because I wasn’t being true to who I am in the deepest fibres of my being.
No one could guarantee me that I would succeed at writing, just like no one can guarantee we will be successful at most things we try. But that does not mean we should give up before we try. If we want something badly enough then we have to do more than try, we have to give it all of ourselves, we have to want it so bad that we are willing to put in 100%.
I realised that failing wasn’t giving something 100% and it not working out, failing was not even trying. Here I was trying to avoid failing and I all I was achieving was making myself miserable. So last November I started a blog, with no experience at designing a website, having never even read anyone’s blog, having never even told anyone since I was a child that I wanted to be a writer I just went for it. And you know what it felt great! Scary, nerve racking, but undeniably awesome. I felt like a complete novice, I was a complete novice, I am still learning everyday. I still pinch myself that people are reading my words that anyone makes time in their busy life to read something I wrote. I am so humbled and grateful, and I am also proud of myself for giving it a go. When people write to me to tell me that reading something I wrote has inspired them or helped them I feel so fulfilled. So yes there was no guarantee, there was no promise that people wouldn’t think I am a fish out of water, but I gave it a go anyway, and I believe that the ‘not knowing’ makes the ‘finding out’ that much better!
My advice to you, if there is something you want to do, something that you crave deep within your soul, then go for it. Don’t be afraid of failure, life is about making opportunities, so go ahead and make your dreams come true!
Thanks for joining me, love Mackenzie xx
Here are this weeks prompts, we would love you to link up. 19 June 2015
- What would you attempt to do if you were guaranteed not to fail?
- Reflect upon what you were like, or what your life was like, as a teenager.
- Reflect on the following quote: “Don’t compromise yourself. You are all you’ve got.” – Janis Joplin
- Why is travel so important?
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Speaking of being guaranteed not to fail, imagine being about to turn 50, being fairly unfit and deciding to start training to run a half marathon before you turn 50! Would you do that if you were guaranteed not to fail? Well our featured writer this week wasn’t guaranteed not to fail, but she decided to train hard and make her dream happen, and she did it! Last Friday she shared her post with us and we are thrilled to announce that Sue from sizzling towards 60 is this weeks featured writer. Her post is a must read, it will really motivate you to go out and work hard towards your goals. “How Running a Marathon Taught Me Anything is Possible”
Linking up with Friday Reflections is a great way to find fresh inspiration for your writing and blogging. It provides you with endless ideas to write about! You have the support of other bloggers visiting your site, offering advice and support. It is a great way to connect with other passionate writers and make new and wonderful friendships! Linking up with us will also increase your site traffic and adds many more comments on your post and opportunities for your work to be shared on social media.
On top of all that Mackenzie and Janine will be putting their heads together each week and choosing their favourite post.This could be you! If you are chosen you will be the ‘Friday Reflections featured writer‘! We will also tweet a link to your post, and a link on Facebook to let all our followers know how fabulous you are. It’s a great way to grow your personal following.
12 comments
You are awesome! I’m so glad you decided to start your beautiful blog and to take the risk of branching out of your comfort zone to show the world more about who you are. It has been a pleasure getting to know you. Well done.
-Tara
#FridayReflections
Thanks so much Tara, it’s been a pleasure reading your wonderful work too
Thanks for sharing that Mac, I’m so glad to be connecting to #Fridayreflections again; it always prompts a deeply personal piece of writing. Failure makes us feel very vulnerable, and this week I was afraid to hit publish, because of the vulnerability that I was offering up to the world in my post. Being true to yourself in your writing is tough, it takes commitment and courage, but you inspire me to fearlessly pursue these goals, just as you do! x
I’m so honoured that you say I inspire you. It does take courage to be so vulnerable, I’m proud of you
Hi Mac, you encourage me every week. I feel a novice at writing but #FridayReflections has encouraged me to keep going. We don’t like to fail however when we do we learn and become stronger. I love reading your work.
What a beautiful compliment thank you, I don’t see you as a novice though, I admire you!
Now aren’t you glad you took that first steip? I think that for everyone who writes, there is something that happens, a moment of truth, that pushes the writer over the edge. A time when you can no longer ignore the need to express yourself. If your voice is true to you and what you believe, the honesty that comes through will draw others to you, and set the example.
Bravo for you girl, for being true to yourself! xo
So glad I took that step Cathy. Thank you so much for your support and kind words xx
Oh my. I loved, loved, LOVED this. I kept nodding through the entire post. I need to print it and highlight a bunch of stuff in it too. ” . . . without writing I was drowning because I wasn’t being true to who I am in the deepest fibres of my being.” Exactly why I just started a blog, too. Thank you for sharing your heart and soul and for the encouragement.
Oh thank you so much for this feedback, and I am so glad you can relate. I will head over and read your blog now
You have done so amazingly in such a short amount of time. Give yourself a pat on the back!
Sorry to be getting here a little late. I had this article open on my laptop for over a week and boy, am I glad I didn’t close my browser without reading your post.
I felt like you had me in mind while writing this piece. Goes to prove how there are so many people experiencing the same problems as us and still when we face an issue, we get bogged down and lose all confidence. Your earlier fears of how you thought you are not “actually good enough” or how you thought you didn’t deserve all that you had truly spoke to me, Mac. Thanks so much for writing about this prompt and even more thankful that you shared it with all of us.
We are worth a lot of appreciation than what we actually credit ourselves for so go on – make mistakes, learn lessons but never stop trying. 🙂
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