It is never easy saying goodbye, the loss of someone or something special is always painful, I guess it never seems fair and we ask the inevitable “why”. Thinking if we could just have an answer that makes sense then maybe we could understand, or make peace with it. Though I guess even if we knew why it would’t change the fact that we miss them would it? 

My cousin passed away this week, he was only just 45. 45 just seems to young to die. His health has been in a bad way for a long time, and in recent weeks he became to weak to go on with his life, his body lost the fight. He lost his dad, my uncle very recently and his mother passed way too young many years ago during surgery. It is nice knowing they are waiting for him, their youngest son. Still he leaves behind 2 brothers, a sister and many nieces and nephews. He leaves friends and cousins. He leaves behind what might have been, and I think that is what hurts, the memories of what was and the what could have been if things had been different.

I was quite a bit younger than him, but my brothers were his age and I have amazing memories of our families being together, and camping when we were young. He loved camping and fishing and had a natural knack for fixing anything.

Today we said farewell at his funeral, it’s funny how people telling their stories not only brings back memories, but also it teaches you about the sides of people you never knew. Some of the stories his best friend shared were just so funny and so touching. He will be dearly missed.

So I say goodbye to my cousin, goodbye Mathew may you be at peace now, may you be smiling forever.

2015-01-12_17-32-00