I saw the most hilarious video of a dancing orangutan on Facebook the other day, she was meant to be secretly filmed in the wild, clearly it wasn’t real, but it was really funny! My cheeky friend who shared it had it captioned with “how parents feel when school starts”, it really made me laugh.
I commented that I hope that is how I feel, I hope I am not more like this
“Nooooooooo, my baby!!!!!!!!”
My little man is starting school THIS YEAR, I can’t even say next year any more, scary thought! Should I be celebrating, should I be a dancing monkey, are all other mums dancing monkeys? Is it abnormal to be sad, or abnormal to be happy? Or is it completely normal to be either, neither, both at the same time? I am confusing my brain, (not an uncommon phenomenon).
I want to be a dancing monkey kind of mum, does that make me a bad mum? I want to be happy that my little, gorgeous, scrumptious, brilliant, adorable, cheeky, funny, delightful, bright, (OK Mac enough with the adjectives), boy is going to school! I can’t help it I just want to eat him up I love him so much! I mean I was sitting here typing away just now and in him came, still in his little dinosaur pyjamas at 11 am, just to give me a kiss, how am I not going to be a blubbering mess when he is walking into his classroom wearing his blazer that looks so big on his teeny body.
Maybe I just need to focus on all the annoying things 5 year old boys do, like interrupting my writing every five minutes, like thinking the universe revolves around him, calling out for me at the top of his lungs when he could just walk to where I am and ask me in his ‘inside voice’, train tracks built all around the house, and racing cars all over my head after I’ve already styled my hair for the day! The constant “I’m hungry”, or can we play this for the 1,000th time today!
He is clearly ready for school, all the signs are there, (according to everyone else but me that is), he is getting bored at home, more and more curious, he wants to know all he can about numbers, and loves drawing and writing his name. But when it comes to socializing he is still a little behind, he made some gorgeous friendships at his kindergarten, but unfortunately they will not be heading off to the same school. On his orientation day he cried and clung to me when I tried to leave, he had to be pulled off me, so I am worried how he will go, and how I will go!
I guess all mums have fears when their children set off to their first day of school, will they cry, be shy, be too noisy, not sit still, know where the toilet is, miss parents, like their teacher, get lost, get hurt, be a bully, make friends, understand instructions, eat their lunch, use manners, be bullied, fall over, feel lonely, there is an endless list of things us parents worry about, and if our child has allergies, an illness, or disability there is the added stress of that!
So how do we stay sane, how do we not fall into a blubbering, psychotic mess? I guess for me it’s focus on the positives, the things he will learn, the new friends he will make, the bond he will create with his first teacher, (my daughter April insisted she loved her prep teacher as much as me! I wasn’t sure if that was a positive, seems I was the one who birthed her 8 pound body out of my lady parts, I thought I deserved a higher standing). I will focus on how adorable he will look in his oversized uniform, and watching him learn to read, and write sentences. And I will enjoy watching him grow up, change, and develop lifelong friendships, skills and the confidence to face the world.
I may also secretly do the monkey dance some days, when I get to have an uninterrupted coffee, or when I am on a roll with my novel and I don’t have to stop to make his sandwich, or wipe his butt! I am sure there will be tears of sadness, tears of joy and tears of pride, and I am sure me and my pint sized man will even do a few monkey dances together over the years to come,
thanks for joining me, love Mackenzie xx
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Thanks for commenting, love mg