Ever heard of Willpower? Apparently if you have it then you are more likely to succeed and be happier in life! So I guess I better get some. In a recent post I spoke about balance and how we need to strike the right balance between time to chill out in front of the TV, and time to be motivated enough to get out there, make something of ourselves and lead a life of success and happiness. But just how do we become motivated? How do we harness this thing known as ‘willpower’?
- Talk to Yourself. What? Isn’t that a little strange? No, not at all, in fact ask any successful athlete and they will tell you that they talk to themselves before the big game, or race. It is how athletes pump themselves up. Lawyers do it before a court case, the great speakers of the world do it before they get in front of a crowd. So go ahead and feel free to talk to yourself, tell yourself that you can do it! Tell yourself that you have what it takes! Tell yourself that you deserve great things! Tell yourself that you are going to kick butt! Pump yourself up.
- Use your imagination. Imagination is a powerful tool that us humans have. Did you know that our body can react to imagined scenarios as affectively as real ones? Think about meditation here, if you do a meditation practice and imagine lying in a hammock over a trickling river, listening to sweet bird calls, feeling the warmth of the dappled sun through the canopy of the forrest, then you can actually lower your heart rate and calm your breathing as effectively as if you were actually there. On the flip side if you imagine something really scary, like spiders crawling all over your bed and one starts up your back, another drops into your hair, you can raise your heart rate and actually feel fear, even though you are only imagining it! So if you imagine that you are succeeding at a goal and what will happen is you will actually be strengthening your mind to believe it is possible and therefore you are more likely to succeed, pretty cool right?
- Make specific goals. Know what it is you are working towards and what it is you want. But make them realistic, obtainable and have a realistic time frame. Work on goals constantly and like I said make them realistic, if you make goals you can reach and then make more you will move forward with confidence. If you set unobtainable, ridiculous or unhealthy goals you set yourself up to fail and you lose willpower along the way. Be smart when making goals!
- Have boundaries in your personal life. Stop saying ‘yes’ to everyone else when it means saying ‘no’ to yourself! Let people know you are there for them, but that sometimes you have to say no. It can be hard with kids so set time aside for them where your attention is solely on them, and then let them know when it is your ‘work time’, even if it means heading to the library to study, or to a cafe where you can work away from them. Hard if you don’t have childcare handy, but kids are smart and can learn to respect boundaries if they are reinforced for their positive behaviour.
- Find a way to be accountable. If there is no one to hold you to your goals it is easier to just give up, or become complacent. A great way is to set up rewards for successes. Another affective way is to get someone to hold you accountable. You could buy something you really want, but don’t allow yourself to have it. Tell your friend to hold on to it and not give it to you until your essay is complete, or you have run 1 kilometre, or you have completed that art class you said you would do. Find an accountability buddy!
- Willpower is like a muscle, so exercise it. The more you use it, the bigger it becomes! Start small and build it up. Allow yourself that extra coffee, or an extra hour of TV, and then gradually reduce. Keep exercising that muscle and soon it will barely take any effort. Slowly say no to that overindulgence, and it will get easier.
- Don’t put yourself in the way of temptation. There will always be times that it is hard to avoid situations that put you in the face of temptation. But if you know you can’t resist buying chocolate then try to avoid the chocolate aisle at the supermarket. If you know you find it hard to not get distracted by TV shows then try to avoid getting into a new television series until your essay, or book, or whatever it is you have to do is completed. If you know you can’t help buying a dress every-time you go into an expensive shop then stay away from that shop until you are out of financial difficulty. Willpower is awesome, but you don’t have to over temp yourself unnecessarily.
Remember to be kind to yourself and believe that you deserve good things. You deserve to have your dreams come true.
I hope these tips help, do you have any tips to help build up willpower?
Thanks for joining me, love Mac xx
As you may already know I took a blogging break whilst settling into our new home. Thank you to everyone who has sent me such wonderful, supportive messages during our move! I still have a few boxes to sort, but we are getting close to being fully sorted out, yay! So #mg link up is back on every Monday! Check out my 9 year olds newly decorated room. Also feel free to drop by if you have any advice on how to handle pre-teens!
53 comments
I talk to myself all the time Mackenzie when I have a long run to do and i don’t feel like it! It actually works though.I also like your idea of willpower needing exercise like a muscle. Great tips thanks. xx
thanks honey, yes I think talking to ourselves can really increase motivation!
What a lovely way to looking at improving willpower. I’d never thought of it in that way. Normally the word willpower seems overwhelming to me and it’s an area that I struggle with. I’ve put it down to just not having any. You’ve looked at it in far more detail and in your gentle, intelligent way you’ve made it seem achievable:)
Mainy
what a lovely comment, thank you so much! I am glad I have made you feel better about it xx
Love this & I definitely need to start applying most of these to my own life. I used to have really good willpower but recently I just have no motivation. I like idea of working it like a muscle. Glad to hear the move went well and you are settling in to your new home xx #mg
Thank you lovely, it is like working a muscle, but be kind to yourself xx
I think the goal is an important thing – I found it very easy to lose weight and exercise for my wedding but now I can’t find the motivation. Could be the kids I have now though 😉 #bigpinklink
don’t obsess over loosing weight, our bodies change with kids and with age, just look after yourself and embrace your new shape xx
great post, I’m struggling at the moment with willpower to diet. i’m about half a stone heavier than I would like and I know I can easily shift it I just don’t seem to be in the ‘place’ for it if you know what I mean? #bigpinklink x
I think the whole word “diet” just sets us up to fail, don’t be so hard on yourself, as long as you are being healthy then just be comfortable in your own skin, treat yourself with kindness and nurture your mind and body.
nice post, will power is the only thing that keeps me going most days x #bigpinklink
sounds like you have some good willpower. Days and times can be tough, but keep going and life does get better!
I love the idea of talking to myself without sounding crazy – a good personal motivator I’m sure. Also love the making boundaries in your own life – so easy to keep saying yes and just then getting overwhelmed with too much – it’s really hard to say no sometimes though #BigPinkLink
it is hard to say no, especially when we link “saying yes” with being a “good person”, but we really do need to look after ourselves. And yes we can totally talk to ourselves without being crazy!
I think as well as all these great tips having a highly positive inner monologue…talking to yourself in your mind, the way you would support and comfort a best friend can help strengthen your goals, mindset and willpower 🙂 #bigpinklink
Couldn’t agree more! Thanks for the great comment xx
Great post and fantastic tips. I really lack will power in so many areas of my life, mainly with chocolate but still, just the will power to get through each day is enough isn’t it? Thanks for the motivation, and as always for hosting! #mg
yes I agree with the chocolate, but a little bit is OK we shouldn’t deprive ourselves of chocolate completely!
I definitely do try to apply these sorts of things to my life. Sometimes my willpower is embarrassingly weak but reading something like this really boosts me xx #mg
so glad it is boosting it!
These are fantastic tips! I do talk to myself – not usually out loud though, in my head mostly. I think it can be very helpful! Not putting yourself in front of temptation is a good one – like just don’t buy the chocolate if you don’t want to eat it lol #MG x
yes chocolate is my weakness lol
I usually think of psyching myself up before an event a bit hokey but at the same time am more than happy to trash talk myself!
Glad the move went well and hope you settle in soon.
#mg
no don’t trash talk yourself, you are far to awesome for that!
This is such a fab post. I think so many people talk to themselves negatively and if you are constantly telling yourself that you can’t do something, chances are you’ll prove yourself right. I need to exercise my muscle now and go and hang out the washing when really I want to settle down and read all these fabulous posts! Thanks for linking up with us! #bigpinklink
thanks for your comment, yes I know what you mean lol
I love that you start with talking to yourself.
I’m guilty of that and I love it.
There’s one reason why our ears are close to our mouth. 😉
Thank you so much for hosting it, MG!
Have a great day.
great point! Thanks Debbie
Breathing and boundaries…yes, that’s how I do it. Thanks for all the helpful suggestions! #mg
These are such great tips, I think I definitely err on the side of not having willpower rather than having it (explains a lot). But I do think it’s something that can be worked on, too X #MarvMondays
thank you, yes we can work on it for sure xx
Great tips! I’m a huge believer that you need to visualize yourself doing the thing you are wanting to succeed in. We create in our minds long before we create it physically. Oh yes…and talking to yourself helps too!! 🙂
Wow I needed this so much thank you for such an amazing reminder #TwinklyTuesday
Wow,great post and so true! I often talk to myself through affirmations, and it really helps me stay motivated 🙂 thanks for sharing #MarvMondays
Oh gosh, I needed to read this today! Thanks you so much… My huge problem is my husband (seriously) he is an eater and a feeder and he is constantly putting temptation in my way. I really need to get myself an accountability buddy, that is a fab idea!
Great tips here. I think it is important to have goals and use our imagination – in many ways I try and imagine my goals and then they feel like they’re in reach. #ABrandNewDay
Great post on a subject area very close to my heart and a huge challange for many people. Great ideas and suggestions. I used hypnotherapy to help with my willpower and eating issues. Linking up via #twinklytuesday and #mg Lynn xx
that sounds like a great idea
Great post and something I really needed to read. I’m currently in the process of trying to give up smoking and it’s not going at all well and I’ve also lost count of the amount of times I’ve opened up the fridge door today. Have added this page to my favourites so I can read it when I’m feeling very weak minded! #bigpinklink
thank you for such a great comment, keep going giving up smoking is hard, but keep fighting it is so worth it!
Brilliant post as I totally agree with all your points! I am needing some willpower at the moment though so think I’ll have to take some tips. #mg xx
I give myself good talking too all the time! I really need some willpower at the moment 🙂
I really need willpower. I keep failing to eat as well as I should and other things too! Reading what you say about positive self talk and visualisation makes me realise how much I do the opposite, no wonder I am not getting anywhere! Thanks for sharing, I hope to put some of this into action. Xx#ABrandNewDay
I am glad these tips helped xx
Wow! Lots of inspiration points here. I am so bad at temptation. It is my worse enemy! Thank you for hosting Mac. x
Such good tips, I’ve got better with willpower as I’ve got older. I would say I tend to tease myself with the chocolate isle in the supermarket. I’ll often walk down it and feel proud of myself when I don’t buy anything! Thanks for linking up to #abrandnewday
Such a great post on willpower. I’ve definitely done and practiced a fair few of these and seen them work for myself. Lots of great new tips here too, very motivating and helpful! Thanks for linking up to #MarvMondays. Emily
Accountability is something that helps me stick to my goals. But temptation, ah that’s the killer for me. When it comes to eating healthy especially, I lack will power and give in easily to temptation. Need to figure out better ways.
Very inspiring post! Great Advice!#Abrandnewday
Really great advice! Sometimes I get down in the dumps and my willpower to look after myself slips, so I’ll try and keep this in mind xx #TheList
Fab advice. I’m always talking to myself but I certainly need to work on saying no a bit more. #TheList
Very good post. I like your style of writing.
I am good at avoiding temptation, but find it hard to find balance and set realistic goals. I have a toddler and a baby, so my time to achieve my goals is very limited and I often try to cram in too much
#thelist
I think I’ve got quite strong willpower – when I want to that is!! #thelist
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