A question should be simple right? I mean it is just a string of words punctuated by a question mark at the end. Sounds simple, but I guess it depends on that question doesn’t it? What if I was to ask you,
what is the best life advice you were ever given?
I mean the best! It is hard to answer isn’t it? Or is that just me?
Through life we are given loads of advice, some great, some terrible and some we just didn’t listen to (even if we should have). I am sure we have all done this, but that’s life and we learn (hopefully) by making mistakes.
I recently gave my daughter some advice which I totally love in the form of a wall print from toucanonline.com
Click to tweet: Always be yourself unless you can be a mermaid. Always be a mermaid!
But it is not really reality, as let’s face it we can’t be mermaids. So what is the best advice I have ever received?
Just the other day I was actually given some really great advice. I was at a talk given by Steve Biddulph and he was giving advice on parenting. He informed the group that we would be getting advice, but then he advised us do do something with what he was going to share. He advised the group to listen to our own ‘radar’. He explained that over our lifetime we will get a lot of advice from so called ‘experts’, but he said when it comes down to what we choose to take on board we have to use our own radar. As his talk was about parenting he was referring to our parenting radars and he explained that he doesn’t like the term ‘parenting expert.’ He said that each parent knows their child the best and has a radar for what is right or wrong for their child.
He basically made us make a promise to him. He said that if he says something that sits right with us then we should take that away with us and use it, but if it sits wrong with us then throw it out as we leave the room.
I think this advice goes way beyond parenting. I believe it applies to all aspects of both our personal and professional lives. We have an inbuilt radar, call it intuition or a gut feeling, but what it does is it tells us what feels right, and what feels wrong. I am sure everyone reading this knows exactly what I am referring to. There is that feeling when we are doing the ‘wrong thing’ that just feels yucky. When we are in the wrong relationship or the wrong job we get a feeling that tells us that we are not doing what we should be doing. We are not fulfilling our needs, we are in fact fighting them.
The night before my wedding I was talking to one of my best friends and we were talking about whether I was nervous. I realise most brides to be are, I mean will the cake be how I want, will my dress look amazing and all that. But when it came to am I sure about Steven being the man I want to commit to, it was a no brainer. As far as I was concerned I was already committed, I chose every single day to be with him, to be faithful to him and to love him, and that wasn’t about to change. I knew in my gut that I wanted to be his wife. If I was unsure, if the thought of marrying him made me feel really stressed and uncomfortable then I would have had to listen to that. I had been in relationships before where it felt wrong, but still I just stayed because I didn’t listen to my gut, most of us have been there and it is just not worth it.
It is the same when it comes to advice, if it feels good and right and makes us say ‘yes that is what I needed to hear!’ Then it is advice worth taking on board. But if we received advice that feels like it goes against our beliefs, or makes us feel bad, then it isn’t worth holding on to. Just throw it out! Don’t be afraid to say “thank you, but this advice just does not suit me.” Or just nod politely and then discard it when they leave. We are often so afraid to stand up for ourselves and say no to people or let them know that we don’t want to use their advice, but if something feels wrong then we shouldn’t do it, it is as simple as that.
I am sure there are a million other wonderful pieces of advice I have received, but this is the one that comes to mind when I asked myself this question today. What about you? What is the best career or personal advice you have received? I would love you to leave me a comment and let me know. Or if you are a blogger why not link up and answer this question yourself?
Thanks for joining me, love Mackenzie xx
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Welcome to this weeks Friday Reflections.
Friday Reflections is a prompt led reflective link up hosted by Janine and Mackenzie (that’s me). Chose a prompt you love from our list below and write a post on it. Then add our stylish badge to that post or your sidebar. Link up with us and comment on the hosts posts and some others please. If you follow these rules you may be selected to be our Featured Writer! Looking forward to reading your posts! Have fun, write and create.
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1. What is the best career or life advice you were ever given?
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5. Write a love letter.
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16 comments
I had a fairly stressful relationship with my father and he used to visit occasionally and offer all sorts of unsolicited advice. I use to try to defend my decisions or argue a point, then my husband just said to let it go. Basically acknowledge the advice and then ignore it – nobody’s feelings get hurt and I didn’t get tied up in knots. So I totally agree with what you’ve said here Mackenzie – go with your gut and leave the rest behind x Happy Easter
yes it can just not be worth it especially if it causes us so much stress. Thanks for linking up lovely and Happy Easter to you and your family xx
That’s great advice. I’m all for trusting your ‘radar’. I tend to go with this and it generally sees me in the right direction. I was once told to take advice as a buffet and just to select the pieces that suit my taste. This is a similar great tip I suppose, although I think the mermaid advice takes some beating! :0)
Dawn x
#momsterslink
yes I love the Mermaid advice! That’s great way to put it, as a buffet, love that thanks for sharing x
This is fabulous advice…when it comes to parenting ‘experts’ I think it can be hard to follow…sometimes the language and delivery is presented in quite agressive and manipulative ways. But ultimately if you listen to it with your radar in tune you won’t go far wrong. Thank you x #momsterslink
I love the mermaid advice, really cute little phrase! My favourite advice is, “Nobody cares but you!” and that is something that I remind myself of every day when I’m stressing about the little things, or even the big things. Thanks for sharing! #momsterslink
“We are not fulfilling our needs, we are in fact fighting them.” – great line and I haven’t seen that from this angle. And it is a great perspective! Yes, intuition is your human instinct to survive and we should learn to trust ourselves. Sometimes I think there are so many “experts” out there and that drowns our own voices inside. My struggle is often when I can’t decide between 2 paths – when it is not black and white and my intuition seems just a little quiet on which path to choose. Or maybe I am not listening hard enough? I don’t know. How do you listen or trust yourself more? #momsterlink
“if something sits right with us then we should take that away with us and use it, but if it sits wrong with us then throw it out.” can be applied to all aspects of our lives. Many years ago an uncle said to me “earn 100 spend 99 happiness. earn 100 spend 101 misery” I’ve tried to keep that in mind whenever I’m tempted to spend
So true, the best advice I got was that there was very little ways to go wrong with parenting and many, many right ways!
Recently I was told to just take a step back if things got too much for me, to take a minute and calm down before I go back to it. Which was great advice that my boss didn’t actually take herself unfortunately…
I have this quote on a mug and water bottle but instead of mermaid it says unicorn! I love that print. This is such a tough question to answer. I think I’m going to need to have a good think about this. It’s not often I hear a question that I can’t answer straight away. Thank you for linking up with us! #bigpinklink
Great advice to use your own radar and trust your gut. I agree that it can be applied to all areas of life not just parenting. #bigpinklink
I think the best advice I’ve ever been given is to forgive myself. Even at my worst I had to learn to forgive myself. I love what you’ve written. Always trust yourself and how you feel. Don’t let others influence change who you are. Thanks so much for linking up with #momsterslink.
You know what, I just can’t answer this question!!! I loved reading yours though!
This is a really brilliant piece of advice!, and certainly something you can apply to every day life! I am big on trusting your instincts, or radar as he called it. When you know something isn’t right, I think it’s time to take another direction.
I’m sure I’ve been given lots of fantastic advice over the years, but for some reason nothing seems to be jumping out at me. Xxx #BigPinkLink
So true and great advice! Thanks for linking up to #justanotherlinky xx
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