Have you ever suffered from the illness known as ‘Mummy Guilt’?
It’s a not so rare condition that I am sure most mothers have felt, right? Let’s face it, for most of us this illness rears its ugly the moment we get that positive pregnancy test result.
Symptoms during pregnancy may include;
- Feeling guilty about eating a salad from a deli, or having that glass of wine, perhaps downing that ham sandwich you were craving, or popping the cracker with soft cheese in your mouth at that party.
- Perhaps you felt guilty about not being sure you even wanted a baby yet, or if you really wanted 5 children!
- Or maybe you found out you were expecting a boy, or girl, and you were really hoping for the opposite sex.
- Or questioned whether we should be bringing a baby into a world after we saw something devastating on the evening news report!
I remember feeling guilty for helping paint the baby’s nursery, I spent forever wondering if the fumes had damaged the baby we’d tried so desperately hard to be pregnant with in the first place!
Then with baby number 3 I was hospitalized with what they thought at the time was clots on my lungs and they insisted I have a test which meant exposing my precious cargo to radiation. According to them I HAD to take the risk because I could be dying. I had the test, feeling more guilt than ever, and it was all clear, and now my healthy baby boy is 7 and I still feel guilty. I was so relieved when he was born healthy, but I still worry if it had some effect that may manifest later in life, (yes I tend to Catastrophize!)
Symptoms during Motherhood may include;
- crying in the middle of the night because you are so desperately tired, and bub want STOP CRYING, (you may say to yourself “I feel so guilty, I love her/him so much I don’t want to seem ungrateful for this amazing gift, but I’m so damn tired!!!!!!!)
- Or we may feel guilty for giving our baby a bottle, or for letting bub cry in the cot for five minutes just so you can have one coffee a week! Or take a shower because you are really starting to stink, and your hair looks like a commercial selling oil for a car, (let’s face it a girl needs a wash now and then! And a damn decent hot coffee! )
And it doesn’t stop at babyhood (sorry ladies if you thought that!)
- You feel guilty for going to work, for going out for dinner with girlfriends, having a night away, sending a sick child to school, saying no to the million things we have to say no to, (don’t stress, this actually puts you in the ‘good mummy’ category, it teaches them resilience apparently, as long as you don’t say no to loving them, hugs and positive reinforcement that is always allowed.)
- We feel guilty for yelling at them,
- guilty for giving something to one child and not the other.
- guilty that we had another baby so we don’t have enough time for the first baby now
- guilty for not giving our only child a sibling
My parents still get parental guilt and now grandparent guilt. (Ahhhh, it’s hopeless we’re doomed!!!!!! Well I warned you that I catastrophize!)
Let’s face it we’re not perfect, we are mums, trying our best to be awesome mums, and awesome partners, sisters, daughters, work colleagues, bosses, friends, aunties, and much more. We make mistakes, we beat ourselves up, and then hopefully we move on!!
We occasionally all suffer Mummy Guilt, (or parent guilt for you dad’s out there), being a parent is a journey, with twists and turns, devastating lows, endless concerns and many sleepless nights!
And thankfully amazing beautiful surprises, uncontrollable laughter, proud parent moments, and the highest of possible highs.
So shake off the guilt, love your kids and love your life, and remember you are an inspiration to them because you are awesome just for being YOU!
In the spirit of Taylor Swift, “shake it off!” Go on you know you want to sing it!
Thanks for joining me, love Mackenzie xx
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She was so lovely standing there
My #mg link up is on a break, but will return on Feb 6th so don’t forget to pop it in your calendars
Exciting new for 2017
I have decided to start a IG community Hashtag series. This year I have become even more focused on inspiring us to live more authentically. So in the spirit of that I have decided to create the #livingfearlesslyauthentic
So what does that mean exactly?
It means that when sharing an authentic Instagram Post or Photo, you can add the #livingfearlesslyauthentic and I will go through all these posts and give them some Instagram love!
What photos can be shared with this hashtag?
Anything that represents you being you! It may be your kids playing, a fab inspiring quote, your coffee, a lazy day, a busy day, a messy room, you getting your hair done! It really is endless because Instagram is all about sharing photos of our lives! And if we are sharing what our lives are truly about then we are celebrating being authentic! Happy moments, proud moments, bed hair moments, sick kids, they are all part of real life! So let’s celebrate life together, the highs and the lows. Let’s share those moments and support one another in being REAL!
I am super excited to see what you share. All you have to do is add #livingfearlesslyauthentic and I will see your pics! It would be great if you can show other people in the community your support too by liking some pics. Comments are always a bonus too.
And remember you don’t have to have blog to join in, all you need is an Instagram account. Don’t forget to follow me @macglanville
And stay tuned as I will have another exciting announcement coming soon, in collaboration with a fab blogger!
30 comments
I couldn’t agree more, we need to remind ourselves of this message more often! #TwinklyTuesday
yes, let’s do that!
I couldn’t agree with you more. If I’m not feeling guilty I feel guilty for not caring enough to feel guilty about something – because let’s face it, there’s always something! From the second a baby pops out of us (yes, pops – just like that,) we assume all this burden and responsibility and take on the role of Superparent, then when we can’t quite live up to all the ridiculously impossible things that Superparent has to actually try and do, all at the same time, oh as well as trying to carry on with all the commitments we had before babies, we feel like failures? I need a cake just thinking about it. Brilliantly written as always Mackenzie. #candidcuddles x
yes they totally pop out! Cake sounds perfect I’m in!
There will always be cake for you lovely! Thank you for linking up to #DreamTeam. Just popping by for a second visit. 🙂 xx
Misery Guts always goes on about my ‘Catholic guilt’, which coupled with mummy guilt has a lot to answer for! #twinklytuesday
yes, we just don’t need the guilt!
So true! We really need to learn to shake it off! Please feel free to link up with us over at:
http://www.ourunschoolingjourney.com/2017/01/together-on-tuesdays-linky-party-week-2.html
absolutely shake it off
Mummy guilt is such a soul-destroyer! If we let it be… It’s so easy to get caught up in how we should be doing things/how we should be feeling etc isn’t it? But ultimately, we’re just doing our best and that’s enough!
Oh I love that “soul destroyer’ that is a great way to describe it
Another fantastic post, the mum guilt really is never ending, but at least it proves we care so can’t be that bad after all. And now I can’t get Taylor Swift out of my head, I’ll be singing it for days! Love the sound #livingfearlesslyauthentic
#DreamTeam
Yes after I posted it I was singing it for hours lol. Hope you can join in with the #
I totally agree. Being a full time working mum i write about mum guilt all the time! it is awful and wont get any easier! #twinklytuesday
Guilt is a part of our lives and sneaks in when we least expect it, besides the usual permanent spot it occupies in our psyche, Mac. Yes, I’ve gone through all that you’ve listed, and even now, sometimes wondered if I could’ve…should’ve… 🙂 Then I shake it off, because I know I am doing the best I can. And so are you! Happy 2017 to you! Looking forward to #mg
Hugs Mac.
#CandidCuddles
So, every mom is a little bit Jewish, nu? <3
Love this, Guilt is a huge part of motherhood and I feel it everyday at some point! Next time it starts creeping up on me because iv given the girl more beans then the boy and he’s crying into his soggy waffles ill break out into Taylor Swift!
I have definitely suffered from Mummy Guilt. Am I being too strict? But am I not being strict enough and turning my child into a brat? Oh the endless reasons to beat myself up. Here’s to casting it all aside. #stayclassymama
I totally relate to this. I’ve had terrible mum guilt this week. Sad to hear it doesn’t get better. I guess I’ll just have to learn to deal with it! #thelistlinky
Thank you for this perspective, I really needed this today! I absolutely adore the quote on that mug! xx #stayclassymama
This is just all so true! I am forever feeling guilty and it’s such a waste of time isn’t it? It’s just a natural thing though! Thanks for linking up linking up with #TwinklyTuesday
Exactly this. I need to remind myself more often!! #candidcuddles
Ah mummy guilt is a bad cycle to get into – one thing leads to another! I I definetly had more mummy guilt when my son was a baby but its eased off as he gets older #stayclassymama
Great post mac. I have a post about mummy guilt scheduled for a few weeks time. I don’t believe in it, it’s a trap!
oh great I’ll look forward to reading that!
Mum guilt is one thing we all have in common! And loving our kids of course, lol But ya the mom guilt is killer! You just can’t win with your own mind can you?! I love throwing it away – what a relief that would be! I took down your new IG hashtag & will be sure to use it. IG is something I feel off of towards the end of last year & need to get back to regular posting now. Thanks so much for coming back to #candidcuddles this year xx
ps I’m loving the new theme! xx
I’ve just drafted something about mum guilt – we just can’t get away from it sadly! But we are our own worst enemies I think, judging ourselves on what we perceive everyone else to be thinking. Argh! I am trying to shake mine off this year! Sorry I’m late visiting from last week’s #TwinklyTuesday x x
I so need to shake off that mummy guilt. Thank you for reminding me. Thanks for linking up to the #TheListLinky x
Ahhh, the guilt, the guilt, the guilt!
Leaving them too long in the cot when you need an extra few minutes of non-parenting time. Leaving them a few minutes longer in the buggy when you get home so you can go to the loo.
At least their Dad gets the same feelings, but even when we talk about it, sharing the guilt doesn’t completely take it away. It’s still a lonely situation.
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