I can have it all

“First when there’s nothing
But a slow glowing dream
That your fear seems to hide
Deep inside your mind”

Irene cara.

That’s how it began for me, a dream. When I was only a child I dreamt of being a writer, writing and making up scripts for my Barbie Dolls to act out for hours upon end. When I was around 15 I started a novel, it was a story about a young girl whose family held dark secrets, I actually got a fair way in to my book. At 17 I was given my first computer so I could work on my school assignments. It wasn’t common then to have a computer and I was thrilled. I would not only do my homework on it, but it became the tool I used to type the beginnings of my novel. I watched the characters come to life on the screen of my bulky computer and I printed the pages out. Holding the pages in my hands was a great feeling.

My final year of studies took over, I was determined to get into University and so I had to really apply myself to receive the marks I needed. From there I deferred for a year and worked to save money for my first move out of home. I brought a car and some furniture and by the end of that year I was in a relationship that took over my life. I spent the next years of my life studying hard at University and receiving great marks. I spent all my spare time partying, dealing with a bad breakup, some terrible trauma and finding a new relationship that emotionally I wasn’t ready for. Somewhere along the way I forgot my dream.

Life went on, I worked, I married, I started a family. Life was good, happy and I had every reason to feel content. But dreams don’t really die, they get buried under life, under heartbreak, under fear. Like the quote above says, my fear had hidden my dreams deep inside my mind. But still it was there, a dream glowing inside me, a fire I could not put out even after all the dirt I had thrown on it over the years. All the feelings of self-doubt, of feeling like I didn’t deserve to have my dreams, of feeling I wasn’t ever going to be good enough were holding me back, keeping my dream of writing buried deep inside.

I came across those pages one day years later, I sat down on my bed and read them. They were actually pretty good given they were written by a teenager. I still loved the concept of the story, I could see I had thrown in too many characters and some of the concepts were immature, but I felt myself coming alive with fresh ideas.

Still I didn’t have time to be writing a novel, it felt silly to even think about it.

It wasn’t until 2014 where I hit a point in my life where I just didn’t feel happy. I couldn’t even say why. I was in a happy marriage, had 3 amazing children, was it selfish to wish for more? I can’t say what made me start writing again, all I remember is that the day I did I felt like I was coming alive. The story I had started at 15 was still alive in me, my fingers could barely keep up with my mind. Suddenly I had a paragraph, a chapter, page after page my characters took form and it was addictive. Like in the song . . .

“In a flash,

it takes hold of my heart”

This morning I heard a song come on the radio, it was Irene Cara’s Flashdance, what a feeling. I started singing it, it is a great song, always makes me want to dance. I went to have my shower and I was still singing it. I started to really think about the lyrics and it made me think about my writing, about how I had a dream, and how ‘Being is Believing“. It was like that for me I had to be it ‘a writer’ to believe that I could be!

Then there is the lines in Irene Cara’s song  where she sings

“Take your passion
And make it happen
Pictures come alive
You can dance right through your life.”

I now know without a doubt that if you have a passion you have to live it, you have to take that dream and make it happen, you have to live your life without fear of whether you are good enough or fear of failing or looking silly. I could have gone through my life and been happy, but I would have lived and died with regret. I had a story that I wanted to write, it doesn’t matter if it never gets published, but to have never of written it would have been a waste of my passion. Through writing my novel I have proven to myself I can do it. I have also showed my children that if you have a dream then follow it. I now have a book that I can share with them when they are old enough. Hearing this song this morning reminded me of the importance of not burying our dreams. Yes life gets busy and sometimes our dreams feel not only buried, but crushed. But if you ever had a dream I urge you not to give up on it, keep fighting for your dreams, keep believing that you deserve to make them happen!

“What a feeling,

being’s believing

I can have it all

Now I’m dancing for my life”

Always fight for your dreams! You can have it all.

Thanks for joining me, love Mac xx

I’d love to hear you thoughts so please leave me a comment. Do you have  dream? Are you following your heart?

Follow me on Instagram @macglanville and Twitter @macglanville 

“Flashdance… What A Feeling” Irene Cara

First when there’s nothing But a slow glowing dream That your fear seems to hide Deep inside your mind

All alone, I have cried Silent tears full of pride In a world made of steel Made of stone

Well, I hear the music Close my eyes, feel the rhythm Wrap around, take a hold of my heart

What a feeling Being’s believing I can have it all Now I’m dancing for my life

Take your passion And make it happen Pictures come alive You can dance right through your life

Now I hear the music Close my eyes, I am rhythm In a flash, it takes hold of my heart

What a feeling, being’s believing I can have it all Now I’m dancing for my life

Take your passion And make it happen Pictures come alive Now I’m dancing through my life

What a feeling

What a feeling (I am music now) Being’s believing (I am rhythm now) Pictures come alive You can dance right through your life

What a feeling (I can really have it all) What a feeling (Pictures come alive when I call) I can have it all (I can really have it all)

Have it all (pictures come alive when I call) (Call, call ,call, call, what a feeling) I can have it all (being’s believing) Being’s believing (take your passion) (Make it happen) Make it happen (What a feeling) What a feeling

lyrics taken from AZlyrics.com

…