A new stroke of colour to my canvas of life.

Sometimes in life things touch you unexpectedly, you really never do stop learning and growing, and the world is truly one big classroom. There are times where you can’t see your way out of the darkness, where knowing what you need to do and doing it feel worlds apart. Other times you feel you are basking in a world filled with beauty and wonder and you just want to be a part of anything and everything and feel life pulsating throughout your body. 

In May 2014 I felt like I didn’t know who I was, in fact I felt like I hadn’t known who I was in a long time, but that’s another story, all I knew was I had to climb out of the world I had created in my mind. I almost feel like I was a caterpillar, I curled up and encrusted myself with a protective barrier, no one was going to hurt me there. If I hid away and didn’t take any risks I would be safe. Only problem with that is when you hide away your dark thoughts hide with you. I needed to retreat into myself so I could finally receive that message. The winter of 2014 really was a process of metamorphosis for me. 

When I started to break free I was hit by a ray of sunlight that was so bright it almost blinded me. Suddenly I began to see things about myself that I had never seen and I began to show a side to myself to the world that I hadn’t dared to show before. Whereas before I had been ashamed of the quirkiness of me, I suddenly felt free to let people see this and I was surprised by the support and the freedom I was feeling as my wings grew. 

I still have a lot to learn and my wings are only those of a tiny butterfly right now, but I am not deterred by that, I am excited by it. 

As you all know by now I have spent the last 10 days travelling in Tasmania, and I am thrilled that our journey is not over yet. I visited here many years ago with my brothers, when I was only 21. I knew then it was beautiful, but at the time I didn’t take it all in, in fact the main thing I remembered was how cold a Tasmanian Winter can be and how much fun we had in the heart of Hobart. I was as I said 21, I was a party girl at University living with my boyfriend and spending days at the beach and weekends clubbing. Although surrounded by a huge social life, and great friends and on the outside having the time of my life, I was hiding a deep secret of pain that I was too scared to share with anyone, so I studied hard, partied hard, devoted myself to pleasing my boyfriend and keep smiling the smile that everyone expected of me.

This time around Tasmania has been a very different experience for me. I am here at a time in my life where I am happily married to a man who I don’t need to be anything but myself around and my 3 amazing children who teach me so much everyday. I am also here at a time where I have learned to speak up and be my own truth. I am finding this journey through Tasmania not only an adventurous one, but one of self discovery too. Each day my wings feel a little brighter and I add a new stroke of colour to my canvas of life.

I don’t think you have to travel to “find yourself”, in fact I have travelled many times and have not learnt anything because I wasn’t open to the experience, or ready to hear what the universe was telling me. I missed the signs and I skipped the lessons, I just wasn’t ready to grow. I reflect back now to when I travelled through Thailand at only 22, I got to go on amazing nature walks, stroll through the streets of Bangkok, swim in crystal clear waters with fish all around me and visit ancient temples, yet my main thoughts were on my impending new career and my boyfriend who at the time had recently cheated on me and I was worried what I was heading home to. That trip had so much to teach me, but I closed myself off and missed some of life greatest lessons. So no, I don’t think you have to travel to experience life, or learn about yourself, but I do believe you have to be open to what the world and life is teaching you if you want to grow. So maybe it is not about Tasmania, it is about me just being ready to listen and being here in a peaceful, welcoming place like Tasmania is giving me the quiet time I needed to be able to listen to the winds that teach me about life. 

So wherever you are in this world when you read this, I hope you can find the time to listen and reflect and be open to splashing some new paint on the canvas of your life.

Thanks for joining me, love Mackenzie xx

Don’t forget to check out my #mg Link up, opens on Mondays and remains open for several days, I’d love to see you there.

Want to see my silly family photo bloopers? Check it out and see why you never work with kids lol