Everyone has ‘those days‘ where they feel like things are just too much! Days where little frustrations feel like big ones, and things that normally you would not let bother you become the thing that tips you over the edge! Everyone has those days, you are not alone.
Sometimes realising you are not alone is the first step to making yourself feel a little better, knowing that you are ‘normal’, that there is nothing wrong that can’t be helped by reaching out to others or opening up to someone who is willing to really listen.
It is easy to get lost in the fog, to feel like everyone else seems to be so happy, and feel like everyone but you has the success and happiness that you don’t. They don’t, trust me, you can’t look at Facebook and Instagram and think how perfect everyone’s life seems, social media can be as fake as a shampoo commercial where not only if you use the shampoo does your hair look fabulous, but you also gain a fabulous looking man, and manage to stop traffic! Even my own Instagram account is full of pretty pictures, and yes they are all real, but that are snapshots of happy moments and pretty things I see. I posted pics on Instagram last week saying I was sick, but I didn’t post how crappy I looked, or the pile of dirty laundry I had to get through! That’s just because I like pretty images on my Instagram feed, but it is not my reality 24/7. And it is not any one else either!
Take celebrities for example, how often do you see these gorgeous pics of them out and about with their beautiful partners and children and the find out 2 weeks later they are getting a divorce? People put on a ‘public face‘, even the parents you see at school drop off who are dressed immaculately and are smiling, you think their lives are perfect, but you don’t see them at home when they are hanging out in their PJ pants, or yelling at their partner for not listening, or forgetting to do the laundry.
When we see someone we tend to ask “how are you?” And the automatic response is “good thanks”. We say that because it is expected and it is polite, and also because we don’t have the inclination to tell everyone we see casually that we are actually feeling really crappy that day because . . . . . !
But if you are really feeling down, if you are really having a string of bad days you need to find that ‘someone‘ who you can be honest with. (Or like me start a blog and moan to everyone). I am serious though, you can not carry around your pain and not have someone, or a few people that you can really be honest with. Whether it is a partner, a best friend, a priest, a psychologist, a group of friends, a parent, aunt or cousin. You need to be able to talk about what is bothering you, don’t let it build up.
I used to keep things all to myself, I thought I was weak to talk about things I was facing. I also thought I had to protect everyone around me. So I put on a brave face, smiled and went about my day like I was as happy as can be. Underneath I was falling apart, I was carrying a painful secret and it was at a point where I was suffering bad nightmares because I was keeping all my pain locked away. I thought it was so much more important to make everyone else happy that it didn’t matter what I was going through. The truth is though, people who care about us want to be there for us. To them helping us through our pain, or our bad days is not a burden, it is a sign that we trust them, and that they mean the world to us.
Sharing your story you will also find that so many people relate, they ‘get it‘, because as horrible as we feel we are not the only ones who have felt this way. If things are getting on top of you, if you are lost in the fog then you need to share it. Find someone you can talk to and tell them what you are going through. If you feel you can not talk to a friend, then talk to your doctor and get a referral to someone who can help you. But don’t underestimate your friends they are likely to understand and even relate to what you are going through.
Here are a few tips that may help.
- talk to a friend
- don’t be afraid to open up and tell your truth
- write it down. Writing how you feel can help get things clearer in your mind, don’t hold back just write as much as you need to, no one needs to see it, so don’t worry about spelling or making mistakes, just write from the heart
- start going on walks, it really helps settle your mind
- allow yourself permission to have a bad day
- if you feel really down go and be with a friend or family member, don’t suffer alone
- drink more water it helps flush out bad toxins and will help you feel better and think clearer
- spend time with animals
- exercise, even if it’s the last thing you feel like, it will help
- eat a healthy meal
- spend time in the garden, notice the birds, feel the breeze, see the beauty in life
I hope that this has helped, if you are worried about a friend or family member encourage them to be open with you and really listen. Don’t dismiss their feelings as silly, really hear what they are saying.
If you are worried about yourself, please reach out and talk to someone.
Thanks for joining me, love Mackenzie xx
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42 comments
I love this honey – things really can get on top of you at times. But those tips can help so much; a bit of fresh air and finding an outlet such as writing really can help xx #mg
Love this. It’s so easy to get caught up in the bad times and not take time out to reflect and calm down. Great tips. For me, working out is always a great help. #mg
Its so important to know your not alone, and to talk to someone (if you can) I’m not on Facebook anymore (with a personal account) but when I was, a friend commented that I was the worst for making life look fabulous.. and I said to her that maybe It did look fabulous but isn’t that what facebook is for? I wasn’t going to post about the awful argument the other half and I had, or that he or I had slept downstairs that night was I?! but of course I was going to post about my fabulous new shoes, or the amazing day trip we had been on.. for me, Facebook was meant for the positive stuff. It did not 100% reflect my life, but who would want to know the negative stuff anyway, on social media at least? I always speak to friends and family if I’m feeling down, I do not post it on social media.So your right, there is no point looking at everyones fabulous life on line and feeling bad about your own. The whole truth isn’t there. good post! #mg
I love your comment and couldn’t agree more!! Social media doesn’t reflect 100% of who we are or what our life entails, but as long as we have some people we are close to that we can open up to that is what really matters! Thanks so much for this comment xx
Loved this, I definitely feel this way quite often, particularly when I am feeling poorly and things just feel like they are going to spiral out of control! It’s so true though isn’t it, everyone likes to portray that they are living the perfect like on social media and yet it’s all a front, most of the time we are all struggling just the same. Life is hard is it not? I try so hard to make sure that I write about the rough with the smooth for that very reason, I admire those who are real, who don’t put on a front and create a reality that is actually nothing at all like the life they are living. #mg
I find you to be very real, you are so good and expressing your emotions and I always love what you write. I truly respect you and what you offer as a writer.
You have some great tips (I need to drink way more water!), I like to write honestly but much prefer taking photos that are a bit censored and ‘happy” because that’s the sort of pictures I like looking at, they also lift my mood when I feel low.
I can totally relate, I love taking pics too
I used to feel the same way Mac. I kept things bottled up inside because no one wanted to hear it, especially my family. Whenever I did complain about something that old saying would come out of my aunt’s mouth, “boo hoo, cry me a river!” I was raised to believe that crying and complaining was for the weak minded so I kept it all in until I became an adult and started to explode on people. Honestly, it’s a miracle I was never arrested for losing my temper as an adult. Therapy helped me realize that talking about our problems isn’t weakness but strength. I guess my family just got it backwards. Blogging has also helped me in this area of my life as well! Thanks so much for hosting #mg
so true it is strength and I think so many of us get that mixed up! Thanks for a great comment Michelle
Lovely post and great list! I know what you mean about having a bad day, it’s normal and we should have somebody or somewhere to feel free to release it with to lessen the burden. #mg
very true! Thanks so much for stopping by xx
I often feel this way Mac! I had to tell a friend I couldn’t keep helping out with her kids as it was all getting too much for me doing it every day, It was so hard but I feel a huge weight off my shoulders now. Great post. Sarah #mg
I couldn’t agree more with everything you said. If you bottle things up it’s only going to get worse. I am so glad I have a loving and understanding partner and I can talk to him about anything. #mg
that is so great! I am so happy you have someone so special xx
Spot on as always Mackenzie! Some people get so caught up comparing their lives that they forget about reality and that everyone goes through the same feelings as they are. Having a friend to talk to or getting out into the sunshine always makes me feel better. XXX
we all need at least one friend we can truly be ourselves with! And sunshine is great mood lifter too xx
MG, I love your tips. Taking walks, preparing a good meal, digging in the garden and snuggling with my dog are my go-to mood lifters! #mg
thanks lovely xx
Hi Mackenzie, Thanks so much for hosting! I am happy to join in the #mg fun. Your piece is a great post very real. It’s so important to follow along with the steps you mentioned. I noticed today, at work, how a glass of water really helped me to feel better. I was shocked. Then I read this tonight. Makes sense. Walk, talk exercise, etc…all good ways to lose the funk. When the littles get funky, I tell them to take a shower or a bath and wash the ‘funk’ off. It works. Anyway, thanks so much for your tips. Tomorrow at lunch, I’ll walk instead of keep on working. #mg
thanks Lisa, so glad you found this helpful!
Really wonderful advice as always Mackenzie. Writing it down helps so much as does talking with a friend or family member. You are definitely right about the “public face” it’s hard to know when people are upset or suffering inside. Thanks so much for hosting #MG x
thank you Becky for taking part in the linky and for commenting xx
I absolutely love this post. It’s so beautiful and positive. Just what I needed to read today. Thank you #dreamteam
Thank you so much
I know from reading your blogs about the difficulties you have faced and live with so I’m all the more impressed with how you stay positive and help others to take practical steps to improve their lives by changing mindset or reframing things differently.
You don’t do filler and time spent here is never wasted.
Thank you.
#mg
I know from reading your blogs about the difficulties you have faced and live with so I’m all the more impressed with how you stay positive and help others to take practical steps to improve their lives by changing mindset or reframing things differently.
You don’t do filler and time spent here is never wasted.
Thank you.
#mg
#DreamTeam
Calling back in from #abrandnewday. I love all the positives that you have in the post, things to work on and not to dwell. Thanks for linking up X
Good to here someone talking about the human condition Thank you. I blame hello, ok etc for painting ‘perfect’ people and no such thing. i try to put on music esp some rocknroll from 70s and bounce around the room. Always works. As you say the garden and birds too but not today #drenched 🙂 Jo #bloggerclubuk
Really good tips – it’s so hard to motivate yourself to do anything on really down days, but even the tiniest thing can have such a huge impact on your mood. x #bloggerclubuk
There has been times when I’ve wondered whether I should post a photo. Like today’s photo of my daughter getting muddy making butterfly feeders. I wonder whether it should have been the end result and a few pretty fake butterflies pictured with them for good measure would have been better. Open, honest, raw and just telling it like it is – is me. #mg
Just popping back to say thanks so much for joining us at #BloggerClubUK x
This is such a great post and with fab tips. It’s so honest and refreshing to hear it’s OK to be down and not to feel so great ALL of the time. There can be so much pressure to be happy and to have a glossy life because of things like social media, but this is not reality. Talking to others is so important to get it out there and off your chest. #BloggerClubUK x
It’s so easy with social media to be fooled into believing we’re the only one who feels this way. Thanks for the reminder!
Some really great tips here hun. Sometimes when there’s something getting you down it can be really hard to talk but finding that one person who can completely open up to really helps. It is definitely ok to have bad days sometimes and we definitely shouldn’t get caught up with how perfect other people’s lives seem. Like you said, you can’t trust everything you see on social media, no one’s life if perfect. X #mg
I know all to well how this feels 🙁 Somedays its just like you can think straight and everything you want and planned is going wrong. The most important thing is to remember it won’t last. 🙂
Lx
http://workingmumy.blogspot.com
#TheList
It’s so important to realise that Social Media is just a facade, it’s so easy to think other people have it all when it reality nobody does x
Hi Mackenzie, thanks for the reminder about not keeping things bottled up. I actually needed this read today. The problem we are having with our windows being fitted is really getting too much now, and don’t get me started on how rude the window company is. Going to whip out the pen and paper when I get home to get it all out. Thank you for linking up to the #DreamTeam.
I love this Mac, Such wonderful advice, I know I need these tips sometimes. Thanks for linking up to #TheList x x
Thanks so much lovely xx
Thanks for the motivation and positivity. Good to see you over at #TheList
Thanks so much!
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