I was recently spending time with a friend who had a break up a while back. She was telling me how her ex was overseas and about the photos he was posting on Facebook of himself with some beautiful women. It was not the first time since her breakup that she had told me about pics of him she had seen out at a bar, or at an event with another woman. I said to her that I really think she should un-friend him, I mean why torture herself with seeing these images?
On top of that she feels she has to compete, and so she posts photos of herself on nights out when she looks amazing. It is not knew that after a breakup we want to see what our ex is up to, or to show them we are moving on, but if we are really moving on then why play these games?
Like I said people have been doing this for years, checking up on what an ex is up to by asking a mutual friend etc, but with social media we see a constant stream of photos of ex partners, people we no longer work with and people who just drive us crazy. We choose to part ways with people in our ‘real’ everyday lives, yet we still follow them on Facebook, Instagram and other forms of social media. It may not even be that we are interested in what they are up to, sometimes we just can’t be bothered with decluttering our social media feeds.
Have you ever thought about decluttering your social media feeds?
Just as we fill our cupboards with things we no longer use, or our wardrobes with clothing we haven’t put on in over 5 years, we do the exact same with social media. Have you ever opened a cupboard and wanted to shut it straight away because it is so full and messy that you don’t want to look at it? The same feeling can occur when you log into Facebook and see images of people that get under your skin, or a whole lot of things you have no interest in seeing, you just want to switch it off, it is no longer a pleasant experience to scroll through.
I know when my husband first started posting his images on Instagram he was getting many people follow him, but he hated Instagram, when I asked why he told me to look at his feed. Scrolling through I could see what he meant, his feed was full of things that we had no interest in looking at. The reason why was because he is so polite, every time someone followed him, he followed back. It is nice to follow people back, but only if you actually like their feed! Otherwise, like Steve your feed is something you won’t enjoy, or even bother to look at any more. It was time to declutter his feed. It took some time, but now his feed is a place that he likes looking through and time spent on Instagram is something he enjoys.
- A great idea is to focus on the positive! It is easy to feel guilty when you are unfollowing or de-friending people on social media, so don’t focus on it, focus on the ones you are keeping and the happiness they bring into your life.
- Focus on one social media platform at a time. Scroll through your feed and take note of what images you don’t enjoy, or what ‘friends’ leave you feeling annoyed, or drained when you see their images.
Social media is meant to enhance our lives, it can be a great way to stay in touch with travelling family and friends, or people you love who live far away. It can also be a great way to stay informed with a local club you are involved in. I particularly love Instagram, and the reason I do is because I have made an effort to follow people whose photographs make me happy. I don’t always follow everyone who follows me, and so they probably unfollow me which is fine, and I don’t unfollow everyone who doesn’t follow me back. I just simply follow the feeds I enjoy. I love photography, so I follow people whose photos I like to look at. I also follow other bloggers I love and admire. I follow some interior design feeds because I love interior design, and I follow some simple living feeds because I love learning more about growing vegetables and about simplifying my lifestyle.
If you are avoiding your feeds, or feeling your heart sink when you see certain peoples images pop up, then you need to declutter your social media. Make the time and shed your life of the negativity.
- Ask yourself “why are we still friends?”
Trust me if you focus on the joy you will feel when you can look at your feed and actually love what you see, then you can do it! It is worth it!
What do you think about what I have written here? Have you decluttered your social media? I would love to hear your thoughts!
Thanks for joining me, love Mackenzie xx
48 comments
Love this, Mac. It’s so true! I’m steadily doing this too.
that’s great, thank you for reading and commenting, have lovely week xx
I dislike that follow for a follow business. I only want to be surrounded by people I care about and images I want to see. I’m glad your husband cleaned up his IG feed. That should be a happy place =)
I have ended friendships and have deleted them from my Facebook. I regularly de-clutter my facebook because I get way too many negative things on my newsfeed and too many people I don’t even talk to that just don’t need to be there. That actually reminds me that I’m due for that today, lol! I have to do it for instagram too though, which I haven’t done since signing up back in October. Exes though, are hard to let go of so I can understand why your friend might have a hard time un-friending him. Lovely post Mac! Thanks so much for hosting #mg
I agree. People are naturally curious and we want to look at peoples new lives. I have unfollowed certain people on Facebook. Sarah #mg (hope to link up later if poss, I am at work!!)
so true we are so curious, which can be a good or bad thing I guess
I do have a declutter from time to time over on facebook. since I began blogging I much prefer twitter and tend to abandon facebook. great post thanks for hosting #mg xx
I agree I tend to abandon Facebook a bit too, I love Instagram
I LOVE this post!! For a long time I felt too mean to delete anyone from my social media, even those who I never engaged with, who I wouldn’t even speak to if I bumped into them in the supermarket, and yet I was sharing my life with them? I did delete them in the end, and I felt bad about it, but I also felt much happier knowing that my FB was more private and that only those who I engaged with could see my photos, my statuses and the details of my life. And yet ironically, all of those people can now read all about my life on my blog, I SO wish that blogs came with privacy settings!!! #mg
lol, great comment. I know I feel the same it is funny that we want privacy, and then we blog!
haha! this is so true! I recently came off my personal Facebook because it was just draining! I used it to be all cheery and occasionally rant, but I was starting to constantly see status’ about personal family arguments and general disliking of other people public… can’t be doing with all that, just dont have the time quite frankly… it was time to hit delete! good post! #mg
I so agree, if it isn’t a happy place then why be there! Great comment thanks
I rarely use Facebook now. I did experiment with muting because the dramaof unfriending wasn’t worth the hassle.
My Twitter feed is a bit cluttered. I need to be more disciplined about using lists to see what I need to rather than sifting through some highly dubious re tweets!
#mg
I am the same I rarely use Facebook, I am in love Instagram though.
I so agree with this! I I friended my ex when he lost contact with me…coincidentally when I got pregnant. No point! I also never follow for a follow! You just can’t keep up and want a social feed you are interested in! Great post xx #twinklytuesday
A great post honey. It’s true, I try not to be friends with people on Facebook unless they are genuine friends. I had an old schoolfriend add me and yet when I saw her recently she totally blanked me – so she’d obviously only added me to have a nose at my life.So I removed her, not out of dislike but to me it was completely hypocritical to be friends with her on there xx #DreamTeam
yes it is silly isn’t it, I mean if she isn’t going to speak to you in person then clearly she was just being nosey, we don’t need that. Thanks for reading and commenting x
I could really do with decluttering my social media, always a job for tomorrow! #TwinklyTuesday
Oh thank you so much for this advice – I feel too that sometimes I follow everyone back but actually I should follow people that lift and inspire or make me laugh. I’m terrible at unfollowing so will just bear in mind your wonderful advice next time someone follows me. I think that decluttering social media will automatically make you feel a little lighter and freer so will definitely try it! #TwinklyTuesday
Great advice! I went through a stage of following anyone who followed me and now I think I could do with a declutter! #DreamTeam
I think a good old declutter is good for a person, my Facebook goes back years and has people on it I haven’t seen for most of them!
Great post 🙂
#TwinklyTuesday
I usually find that FB is the least positive social media platform – I know friends who have felt down looking at other peoples feeds as they look so amazing, but FB is usually rather fake and just how people want to portray themselves
I tend to declutter as I go, when I think this person is always posting things I don’t agree with or are negative, but I will have a good clear out now and again!
Instagram is the worst I seem to change who I’m following depending on my mood.
It’s good to clear out! Especially all those who just like to be nosey!
#passthesauce
I have no problem in defriending people at all. I have just had a massive cull on Twitter and Instagram as I was not enjoying my feeds as much. I had followed some people who had followed me and then seemed to have a feed full of weight loss wraps or people selling things and that is so not what I want to see. My FB is full of bloggers rather than ‘real’ friends. But I love it!
This is such good advice. I have to say I rarely unfriend people on Facebook but if I find that their status updates have a negative impact on me, I remove them from my newsfeed altogether. I also restrict my own posts to some extent – not everyone I’m ‘friends’ with can see everything I post. In some ways, it would make sense to unfriend people altogether but it’s partly because some of these people are family members (and I can’t be bothered with dealing with the potential fallout that might come from unfriending) and partly because I still like to be nosy every now and then! I do unfollow people on other networks if I don’t like what they post though – life’s too short to agonise over what other people post on social media. #TwinklyTuesday
I have often thought of scaling down some of my accounts especially facebook. I only actually talk to a handful of people and then I just get lazy.
I love this post! So true, I recently had an experience with a friend whom I caught bad mouthing behind my back, I initially tried to keep her on my friend list but then I realized what’s the point when I don’t want to do anything anymore with her, so I blocked her and it made my life less stressful and happier. Social media should be used responsibly and to our advantage and not the other way around. #mg
So so true, I had a clear out ages ago and it does feel good. I now have IG and FB feeds that I am genuinely interested in. Great post. #TwinklyTuesdays
I’m too polite to ‘unfriend’ anyone – but I do see what you mean! I need to be a bit more ruthless… #twinklytuesday
After a breakup social media can be torture! I’m ‘friends’ with some people on Facebook who wouldn’t even speak to me in the street, I think I’m just far too polite to unfriend them but maybe it’s time, you’ve inspired me! #twinklytuesday
I know what you mean, I always try to be nice and hate to offend anyone, but sometimes we do need to think of what we need in order to be happier xx
I just finished doing this on my facebook, and some on twitter as well! At some point you realize it just isn’t worth it to have negativity or people you don’t care about or want around in your social media life! #dreamteam
Great post and so true, it definitely puts you off using a site if you don’t like the accounts you follow. I have to say I’ve never really been interested in trying to win the break up or stalking an ex – they’re an ex for a reason! #TwinklyTuesday
Debbie
I’ve decluttered my social media and it is so freeing. Life is hard enough and has enough places and things to do that make us feel lousy. Great post. #PassTheSauce TY!
I have decluttered my social media. I did it a few months ago. I had accidentally followed a good few wrap accounts on Instagram before I knew what they were & how to avoid them. It was refreshing to get rid of content I didn’t enjoy. I agree with you about Facebook, it’s too easy to see what people are up to. It might be nicer for your friend to unfollow or unfriend & move on in life. Thank you for hosting #MG x
I did a major declutter of my Facebook several years ago, went from about 500 friends, wanted to have less than 100. Since then it’s crept back up to about 250 I think … I can’t bear the thought of hurting anybody’s feelings though so if their posts upset or annoy me I tend to hide their posts, rather than unfriend them! PS Just checking, is your linkup each Monday – so I can add it to my blog post!
Great advice here. It’s a fine line between having lots of followers and not with blogging. I am still trying to get the hang of Instagram, I am trying to work out what I want to do with my own feed, I’m going light and dark at the moment but don’t have enough dark photos to make it work! I’ve no problem with not following people, it’s all for me! I’ve rambled! Lol! #mg
It’s true. Our social media feeds do get congested very quickly and we all need a way to cleanse them so that we can focus on what we actually want to read. I am not sure what the answer is. Cleansing takes such a long time. It is like the annual clear out of my wardrobe. I dread it, but I feel so much better afterwards. Pen xx #mg
You’ve hit on a hard thing for me Mac. Many say follow-for-follow is growing your blog… but I’m not so sure I want people reading my blog because they have to. I would love for them to read it because they want to. Same thing for the social media platforms. I suppose there is a balance in there somewhere. You’ve given me much food for thought my friend….
yes I know they do say follow to get more followers, but like you say I want people to follow me because they enjoy my blog, tweets etc.
Love your post as always. I love your analogy of the cupboard! Hmmm, I have never thought of it that way and with the same logic, if we don’t “declutter”, it could be like behaving like a social media hoarder! So that in itself is a problem but we don’t see it until we see it through the eyes of someone else. That is so true – decluttering frees your mind! Thanks for sharing with #PassTheSauce
Love this! I’ve ‘unfollowed’ a few people on Facebook before, so we’re still friends but I don’t see all of their posts which is a good compromise for me! I do feel like I want to edit my twitter feed though, I’ve been guilty of the same thing as your husband, following back people who follow me even if I don’t really want to see all their tweets! x #TwinklyTuesday
yes it is easy to feel like we have to follow back, but I would rather have genuine followers than those who follow me just because I follow them. I always take look at who follows me and if I like what they share I will always follow back, but if I don’t then I don’t follow.
I do declutter my FB quite often. I don’t think I’m on Twitter enough to have to bother and with Instagram, I only follow those that interest me. I couldn’t imagine having my ex on my FB as it would be just too hard to handle!
That is so true and I have to confess that I am one of those people that very rarely de-friends anyone. Though, if someone was regularly posting offending things, I definitely would. I hadn’t thought about the negative vibes though… great post 🙂 Thank you for linking up to the #DreamTeam
Totally need to do this!!!
But always love your instagram feed; so calm and pretty…a great escape from what often feels like my wild chaos. #fartglitter
oh thank you what a lovely thing to say xx
I totally agree with you lovely. Facebook is my nemesis as I lose the will to live sometimes scrolling through an onslaught of “what random people that I haven’t seen for 20 years have had for their tea”, mixed in with “copy and paste this to your status otherwise something bad will happen” nonsense. My problem is that I am too much of a stress head to actually unfriend a person and would probably lay awake all night feeling like i had mortally offended someone (when in reality I know that they won’t have even noticed). I now barely use Facebook, but I do like their “unfollow” button. It feels a bit less harsh than de-friending someone but still gets their twaddle the hell off my news feed! 🙂 I will take your advice though and I will take a deep breath and get de-cluttering… one day!
Thanks for linking up with #fartglitter xx
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