Happiness is something unique to each of us, what we believe will make us happy, and what will actually make us happy is an individual experience.
Happiness eludes so many of us, and we ask ourselves why? We wonder why do others seem happier than us, and what is their secret? Mistakenly we often believe it is the holidays they take, the big expensive car they drive, or that handbag we covert. We hear people tell us that materialistic possessions won’t make us happy, yet we see Facebook images of happy people in exotic destinations, or out for a fancy dinner. We also know that buzz we get when we come home with shopping bags full of new clothes or homewares. I am guilty of that, I love shopping and I do get excited over new shoes, or a cute new outfit I brought one of my children. But I can also acknowledge the buzz has disappeared when I see the credit card bill at the end of the month.
Of course we look happy on holidays, well at least most of the time, because we are escaping reality for a brief period and experiencing new things. But more importantly we should look happy because we are spending quality time with people we love, or quality time nurturing our minds and bodies with a well earned rest. But when we go back to our life after the holiday is over, or after the shopping buzz is over then we still need to be happy.
So just what is the secret to happiness? And not Social Media happiness, but deep down happiness?
Happiness, true happiness, is an inner quality. It is a state of mind. If your mind is at peace, you are happy. If your mind is at peace, but you have nothing else, you can be happy. If you have everything the world can give – pleasure, possessions, power – but lack peace of mind, you can never be happy.
Dada Vaswani
I have to say that I see so much truth in this quote! It is no secret that 2 years ago I wasn’t truly happy, not deep down happy. I was happy enough, or at least I was telling myself that. And the thing is I had plenty of ‘stuff’ to make me happy. A nice car, a gorgeous large home, jewellery etc. I wasn’t ‘rich’, but we were comfortable and had plenty of materialistic items we really didn’t need. And that is why I agree with this quote, because I know that having these ‘things’ did not make me happy. Yes they gave me shelter and kept me warm and I was truly blessed to have those ‘things’, and I didn’t take them for granted, I truly appreciated what I had. But what I didn’t appreciate was myself. I took myself for granted, I felt undeserving of all those ‘good things’.
Because I didn’t love myself I really couldn’t be truly happy.
It sounds cliche I know, but it is the truth. In fact it was very much my truth. It is not as easy as reading this and saying, ‘oh yes great now I know the secret to happiness is loving myself and believing I am worthy‘, and therefore you suddenly love who you are. I wish that it was. But if you are sitting there thinking that you would never be able to love yourself then let me tell you that you are wrong. No matter what it takes you need to start that journey and find a way to love who you are. And if you are thinking that loving yourself is selfish then you couldn’t be more wrong, loving yourself is truly the greatest gift you can give the people you love, and the greatest gift you can give this world! (Read this “Is it selfish to say yes to me?”)
Happiness and self love is a journey, in fact it can be a battle, but trust me it will be the best thing you can ever do, because when you love yourself you shine your light on everything and everyone and you make the world a much more beautiful place to live in.
So today do something about it, learn to be kinder to yourself, do something that makes you happy, tell yourself you are worthy. Take the first step to loving who you are. And please if this is something you are really struggling with don’t be afraid to seek help, talk to friends and family about how you feel, or seek professional advice. We all deserve to truly find happiness.
Thanks for joining me, love Mackenzie xx
If you found this helpful you may also enjoy
Sometimes the most simple actions are all you need to begin with.
Give yourself permission to make mistakes
I will leave you with a quote I wrote that you can also find in my article on “Creating Yourself”
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47 comments
I agree with you entirely about happiness being an inner quality. You have to be happy and at peace with yourself first and I don’t think it’s selfish. I think it’s important. Love the quote ‘fight to be you’. We only live once. #MG #SundayBest
I agree, it can be hard to not feel selfish, but once we realise how important looking after ourselves is we finally can be happy
Beautiful post, Mac! Most of us feel shy or think it is selfish to nurture ourselves, until there is a huge wake up call that makes us think it is too late. Then we try and gather the pieces and try to make up for lost time. In some sense, I am grateful I grew up with less, in a thrifty family, and this has given me an inherent sense of “enough” simply because there was enough love, even when we were broke. It certainly kept us smiling. And happy. 🙂 I never listened when my Mom would gently remind me to look after myself, and now that I realize I should have, I am trying. At least I am trying to focus on doing the things that make me happy. Hugs! Love that photo of the seated Buddha and the quotes.
Congratulations to the featured picks – wonderful choice!
Love you!
I always love hearing what your mum said, what an amazing woman as are you. Yes I love my Buddha it was a gift from a friend xx
Such a beautiful post, MG. It also seems apt for me because I haven’t been having a good week. Upset and depressed probably are the words that I’d use to describe what I feel but I’m making a conscious effort to be happy in that I’m trying to take care of myself. Happiness and self love are so interrelated that one cannot exist without the other but we tend to forget that. Thanks for the reminder 🙂
I am sorry you are having a difficult time, never forget how much you matter and always be kind to yourself xx
Hi Mac! I’ve been gone too long but what a wonderful post to come back to. It is so important to love ourselves. How could we ever give from an empty cup?
so true! And so happy to have you back xx
I love your quote, Mac! Absolutely. You always turn things on its head for me and I see better and more clearly. Happiness eludes me because I am eluding myself. I always think if I have this or that, I’ll be happier but when that moment has come and pass, I realise that I am back where I am.
I guess the answer to being happy is in your last quote for me. Fighting hard for my dreams, whatever the end result, is happiness for me because I get so dream every night.
Thank you for your lovely comment and I am glad my quote inspires you, you are truly aa=mazing
A lovely post Mac. I have never covered material processions and have not enjoyed shopping since becoming a mum, happiness for me is finding peace and accepting myself, I am a work in progress! Thank you for hosting and have a lovely day xx #mg
oh I wish I didn’t enjoy shopping so much, you are an inspiration
That’s a great quote. I am now doing something that does make me happy, although I’m not earning much money at the moment, we are just about managing. But, I am happy to be able to pick my kids up from school, to work on my blog and to be making things that I love. Sarah #mg
you’re so talented and your dream catchers are so beautiful, I am glad you are finding what you love
Another beautiful and enlightening post x
#mg
thank you so much
Lovely post and so true. It is only when we turn our search inwards that we get the real answers.
so true!
Beautiful quotes and a lovely post. I do believe that happiness stems from peace – retail therapy and vacations do bring happiness, but it is of the temporary kind. Lasting, deep happiness comes from being at peace with yourself and your place in the world.
so very true!
This is so beautiful and so true, as always. I often think that I am so busy trying to stay afloat that I forget to look for happiness, and absolutely forget to be kinder to myself. Right now our lives are in such a state of limbo and we are simply living from one day to the next, I so hope to find happiness by the end of the year. Thanks for hosting lovely. #mg
I know you are having such a tough time right now, I hope you can find happiness in the little moments and hope you are well soon xx
This is a really wonderful post. Everything you say is so true and I really love your choice of quotes. There are so many quotes on happiness and the ones you have used embellish your post beautifully. I think that there are lots of people out there who see loving themselves as selfish. Your post reminds us just how important it is. Alison x #mg
Thank you so much Alison xx
I love how you differentiate between truly happy and Facebook happy; oh so true. Thanks mackenzie. x #TwinklyTuesday
Thank you Anna x
Self care is important for everyone. My question for Life: I searched for true happiness not in materialistic things but in my loved ones but they did not get me right. Anyways, I loved that Buddha statue, on my desktop wallpaper now. Your posts always make me look down deep and search for answers.
Happiness can only come when we truly except who we are, we don’t need others to find that for us, we need ourselves.
This is such a positive post full of wonderful quotes. I’m not that materialistic and we don’t have a lot of expensive stuff. We like to find the happiness in each day and record it every week. I’ve linked up my happiness post this week 😀
I think one of the things that really helped me improve my happiness was improving my inner dialogue and the way I speak to myself. It really helped increase my self worth and self confidence. #twinklytuesday
so true, I feel the same
We do need to be our own cheerleaders in life for sure. Love reading your posts keep them coming. #mg
Great way to put it! And thank you so much x
That’s a wonderful post, even if I’m the last person to say so, We often forget to be nice to ourselves or think that is selfish in some way. However keeping yourself happy is so very important.
it truly is
I think happiness is often a choice (though not always).
I totally agree, most of the time we do have control over how we will feel, but with mental illness it is so much more complicated
I couldnt agree with you more. I see so many people who believe happiness can either be gained through material things, or who believe that it is other peoples role to make them happy. In either case they are looking for happiness outside of themselves.
As someone who suffers depression there are often times when happiness does elude me, but when I can feel happy it is because I cam take joy in the simple things like the love of my family, the love I can give to my family. #mg
yes with Depression it brings a whole different perspective doesn’t it, but I agree we still have to look at what we can do to help ourselves through the tough times
This is truly beautiful and I certainly agree that material things provide us with some sort of security but certainly not with happiness. I am truly happy when I allow myself to live in the moment and enjoy all the beauty and love that surrounds me x #mg
beautifully said!
I think loving yourself and being happy with yourself are not selfish at all, but hard to do! Thanks for linking up to #SundayBest x
it can be very hard, harder than it should be
In recent years I’ve started consciously indulging myself, fighting that voice in my head that tells me I’m wasting money on a massage or a hair spa. If we don’t do it for ourselves, who will.
I never thought of it as taking myself for granted before. But, you’re right, that’s just what it is.
Beautiful post. If we are not happy within, how can we be happy with anything else? I have also learnt that valuing relationships, family, and experiences over ‘stuff’ has led to much more fulfillment for me day to day.
spot on!
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