Get curious

Had you sat me down a few years ago and asked me ‘what my passion was’ I honestly don’t think I could have answered you. I would have said something like ‘my kids’, ‘my family’, and as much as I love and adore my children, my husband and my family, I would have only answered that because when it came to a ‘personal passion’, something that was just ‘all about me’ I had no clue!

I had read self help books, and read all sorts of articles that talked about how we all have a purpose. I was convinced that my purpose was to be the best wife and mum that I could be and surely that was all there was to life! Surely that’s all I needed to be fulfilled and happy, right?

What I didn’t take the time to consider is what do I want just for me? (I mean that would be totally selfish wouldn’t it?) I didn’t stop and take the time to assess what was missing, I mean why when I had the so called perfect marriage and 3 amazing children did I still feel something was missing? I felt ungrateful and angry at myself.

Today I know where my passions lie, I know what was missing, I now know the happiness I didn’t think I deserved. So what happened over the last few years?

The simple answer is I became curious.

The longer answer is that I almost hit rock bottom. I lost myself, I lost my lust for life. Here I was with all I had ever dreamed I wanted, an amazing husband, 3 children that I had been through so much to have, a beautiful home, amazing friends, and I was lost. I felt tired, I lacked energy, I found it harder and harder to see the beauty in my life. I got angry with myself, frustrated at my lack of appreciation for all these amazing things in my world. I didn’t like who I was during that time.

I went for a walk one day and I started listening to nature. I stopped and watched the birds flying overhead, I watched the trees blowing in the wind and felt it on my face. I stopped and picked up a rock it was beautiful. I turned it over and it was covered in moss and I though it was such a pity that this pretty rock had to have this ugly moss on it.  I felt like when I looked at that rock that it was just like me. Pretty and well presented for al the world to see, yet ugly and sad underneath.

But something happened in that moment. I suddenly found myself fascinated by this moss, the more I looked at it the more I thought it was what gave this rock character, and the more I started to see it as what made this rock beautiful. When I walked away I left that rock moss side up, I wanted the next person who saw this rock to see its inner beauty.

I went home an wrote a poem, something I hadn’t done for the longest time.

I started to think that maybe people wouldn’t see my flaws as ugly, maybe they would see them as beautiful. What if I dared to show the world the real me?

I was curious that day, I wanted to explore nature, to explore life and all its possibilities, and it began from there. I have often written about finding your passions, about being still and listening to your inner voice. It can be hard to know where to start. So my advice to you today is to get curious!

If you find yourself in a rut, if you have lost a lust for life, lack energy or are struggling within yourself, then start to look at your natural curiosities.

How?

• When you see something in a newspaper or magazine and it excites you, take note of what it is.
• If you see a friend doing something on Facebook and it looks amazing to you, take note of what it is.
• If you hear about someone’s job and it fascinates you, take note of it.
• If you see an artist at work and you feel something stir inside you, take note of it.
• If you read a book and are super excited by something a character does, then take note of it.
• If a relative or friend tells you about a new job, or adventure they are embarking on and it thrills you, take note of that.
• If every time you walk into a florist or see flower arrangement you fill with joy and curiosity of how they do that, take note.
• If when you bake you come to life, take note of that.
• If you find yourself looking over someone’s shoulder and wishing you could do what they are doing, take note of it.

Get curious, explore possibilities, see what ignites in you. If you find yourself curious about things then explore them. Curiosity is innate, we all have it, we become curious about things everyday it is completely natural, we don’t have to force it or even search for it. We are by nature born curious. All you have to do is let it lead you. If you find yourself curious about something then investigate it. Follow your natural instinct and see where it leads you.

Click to Tweet: Today just gently take notice of your natural curiosities and see where it takes you

Thanks for joining me, love Mac xx

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