Face your fears

No matter how far you’ve come or how confident you are there are moments that are bound to drag you down. One moment you can be reflecting on how much you have achieved and the next you feel like you’re spiralling out of control. One moment you’re kicking ass at work, the next you day you don’t want to get out of bed, let alone face the world. 

We all have emotional baggage, or sore spots, so called ‘Triggers’ that can send us into a total meltdown. We think we are on top of our lives, we worked really hard to get there and then our trigger is set off and we feel like we are back to where we started. 

Triggers can be a person, an event, a situation, a place, or even a sound or smell that sets us into a downward spiral emotionally. We all have them, but is how we look at them or manage them that makes the greatest impact in our lives today. Depending how reactive we are to these triggers they can cause us anything from a little discomfort all the way to full blown panic attacks. 

One of the best ways to deal with these triggers is to firstly become aware of them, like any monster they are always scarier when they are hiding in the closet or under the bed. Shine a light on the monster, and what do you know, it is only a tiny little monster, or maybe there was never really a monster at all? My point is that the more you fear something, the more you are actually fearing fear itself, as Franklin D. Roosevelt said “the only thing we have to fear is fear itself”.

Click to Tweet “the only thing we have to fear is fear itself”. Franklin D. Roosevelt

Once you become aware of what your triggers are, you become aware that you have the power to stop them from affecting you, or taking over your life.

We develop these triggers due to past high stress situations. Like the child who was yelled at constantly may now be the adult who cowers anytime the boss raises his voice. Like the woman who was beaten by her boyfriend now flinches anytime someone raises their hand. Like the girl who was picked on in school for being too fat or too thin now reacts badly when anyone around her comments on her body.  We form triggers to protect ourselves from being hurt again. The problem arises when we no longer need these over protective triggers anymore, when they are no longer helping us, in fact they may be harming us.

Once you become aware of what type of triggers set you into a downward spiral you can begin to take steps to avoid them. For example, if you have had an eating disorder in the past you may now avoid having scales in your house. The problem is you can’t always avoid your Triggers, but if you know what they are and prepare yourself mentally for them then you can handle them when they arise.

Here are some steps you can try if you are feeling overwhelmed.

• Breathe, slow down your breathing, place your hands on your stomach to ensure you are breathing from your stomach and not your chest. Breathe in for the count of 5, hold for the count of 2 and breathe out for the count of 5. Do this at least 6 times.
• Walk away from where you are to a quiet area (if possible) take a moment, practice the breathing exercise and tell yourself that you are safe now, that you are not back where you used to be.
• Know that Triggers are normal, that you are OK, that it is OK and normal to feel overwhelmed at times. Everyone experiences these moments.
• Take a walk, swim, any form of exercise will be beneficial when you are feeling overwhelmed.
• Write, get out a pen and paper and write. Writing down your fears often makes you realise that they are not as threatening as they seemed, remember the monster above and shine a torch on it.
• Talk to a friend, someone you trust. If you feel you can’t, then I highly recommend seeing a counsellor or psychologist they can help you with some strategies to put into place.
• Write the past you a letter, let them know that you are safe, loved, happy now.
• Remember you are not alone, no matter what there is always someone out there who cares about you.
• You are not the only one who feels this way, we have all been there, know that you can overcome this trigger. You are powerful and stronger than you know.

Remember that you have the ultimate power over how you think and feel. If you ever feel things are getting too much practice the above tips, and always seek help if you need it. Emotional triggers can be tough to face, but they can also teach us so much about ourselves and make us seek out a newer, healthier approach to life. If something feels bad or wrong then it usually is, but we don’t need to live in fear of things that happened to us in the past. Your happiness is now what lies in front of you. You know now that you no longer need these triggers, it is time to shine alight on them and walk into a brighter, happier, emotionally aware future.

Click to Tweet: Remember that you have the ultimate power over how you think and feel.

Thanks for joining me, love Mackenzie xx

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